A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:well ive been dating a guy for about a year now and we recently moved in together...we meet shortly after him and his ex broke up. they were together and lived together four years. she left him for another man. he still keeps letters and pictures, occasionally he'll talk about her Ex; thats where she used to live, she used to work here..they only hire beautiful people, do u ever go there...etc. when we first got together he told me in a drunken state he could never love me bcus hes been hurt too many times, also he called me her name once when we were joking around. he says hes over it but i feel as im being compared and used. like im filling the empty space, and if he could choose he'd have her back in his life. am i just paranoid or what?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2008): No your not paranoid. He sounds like he is still heartbroken and not over the breakup. That's not to say he will not get over it though. He will in time.I think maybe you two jumped the gun on moving in together. 1 year is not a long enough period of time and he still is not over his ex. Did you know this when you agreed to move in? Sometimes we want things so bad that we ignore certian details that are not pleasing.If you like him and he likes you and your already living together maybe you ought to give him some time.If he talks about her tell him that you would rather not talk about her because now it's about you and him NOT THE EX.See if the behavior continues and if it dose then maybe you oughta just say I'm not her! and I never will be so if you can't get over her i'm leaving.See what he says to this and take it from thier because you deserve to be with someone who is not living in the past and in love with a memory because your here right now. Maybe if you say this to him it will wake him up and he will relize he has a good thing in front of him. If not move on you can find somebody else who is ready to be with you and put you first. Good Luck
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