| A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Okay, well I have been on and off with my ex-boyfriend for about 5 years now. When we first met and started dating things were really good with us, we were almost inseparable. We have very different personalities, but compatible goals and our differences seemed to compliment each other at the time. We were also in high school and were each others first loves. Although we were in love we had our problems, mainly sex. He wanted it and I wasn't ready. I was also very selfish and unsupportable at the time and he was very giving and loyal. Well when he went away to college he cheated on me and had a kid with another female. We broke up and stopped talking for about 2 months. He apologized and said he wanted to be friends and i gave in, mainly because i felt my actions (not having sex, being selfish, and not supporting him) played a huge role for him cheating.Well we started talking again but casually (he was still with his baby's mother and i was talking to other guys) but i still had strong feelings for him. After a year of casual "talking", we started talking more seriously again after him and his child's mother broke up and I started to grow more attached. I wanted a relationship but he wasn't ready for that so we just went with the flow. Well he started to hit a financial crutch in his life and i was helping him with EVERYTHING, paying bills, applying to jobs for him, whatever. All i asked was that we spent a little time together in return. Well we barely spent any time together, we weren't intimate, he started ignoring my calls and texts and I only saw him when he needed money. He always had an excuse for this behavior and i felt as if he was talking to other girls, but because we weren't officially together, i couldn't really say anything about it although i told him numerous times about how annoyed i was with it since I was helping him out so much.Well I ended up going through his phone and finding pictures and messages that proved he was talking to other females and it upset me, but when i brought it to his attention his excuse was that I violated his privacy and made "assumptions". I felt bad so i gave in AGAIN! Well about 2 weeks ago he told me he had to make a 4 hour drive to pay some court fees. I gave him the money and only asked that he let me know he made it safe and how things went. Well after several hours I didn't hear anything from him and started to grow worried so I called and text him, but got no response. The next day still no response and I was concerned, so I started to call and text him several times. Well he finally calls me back TWO days later and gets upset with me for calling and texting so much. Now he has chosen to end things with me because of that behavior as he says I don't know how to relax. I'm having a hard time dealing with this because I still love and want to be with him and feel like I was only showing concern. I feel like he's using that as a way to end things with me to be with this other girl, but now I feel like we're over because it's all my fault. Am I wrong for feeling this way and What should I do? He won't respond to my calls or texts and just ignores me!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2009): He's taking you for a fool and you should have never taken him back after he cheated. Then he gets a girl pregnant and you have a casual thing with him and let him use all your money. None of this sounds good or like its going anywhere but downhill. Don't get taken for a ride, well, you already have been.
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