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Is he shy? Not into me? Unsure?

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 September 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 13 September 2009)
A female Australia age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I've 'dated' guys who want to get physical too soon and most often when I say no they just disappear on me. It hurts at the time but I get over it and realize they weren't worth much in the end anyway.

Right now I've been on four dates with a guy. First date no kiss, just a hug; second date a quick peck on the lips at the end of the date; and third date it ended up an awkward kiss on the lips as his friend came out of the house just as he was about to lean in to kiss me.

After the third date with this guy, my ex came back into my life and started causing me problems and I just couldn’t keep seeing the new guy while I was in a mess. I told the new guy that I wasn’t ready for more than friendship at that point and he said that although he wants more than friendship he doesn’t rush. I just couldn’t deal with it all so I cut contact with the new guy.

A month later I messaged the new guy and he asked to meet up. We met up, had a great day out, talked, and watched a movie at his. He didn’t make one move. At the end of the night he walked me to my car and kissed me quickly to say bye. I then hugged him and went home.

I should be grateful that for once a guy isn’t trying to grope me by the third date but I can't help wonder:

- is this guy not sure if he can make a move because I'm not giving him signals, or

- is he just naturally shy and/or inexperienced, or

- is he not that into me.

What do you think?

View related questions: my ex, shy

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for the answers guys. This new guy has no idea why I cut contact with him before (he doesn't know it was an ex) and even when we met up recently he didn't ask and I didn't tell. I just wanted to start over and enjoy his company. I am also completely over my ex and don't want to or need to go back to the past. Thanks again :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2009):

I would say answer #1, he is waiting to see whether you are available again or not. He does sound like a good guy. What you are not telling us is where you stand? have u finished for good with your ex then? he probably won't want to rush things until he knows you are done with Ex for sure. That's how I see it. If you are still unsure about your ex I think you should remain friends with New Guy for the time being, if you are now single, make it clear and see where it goes... good luck!

ps: 4th option could be, he's now seeing someone else, but probably not. I'm just saying.

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A female reader, princessjasmine United States +, writes (12 September 2009):

OMG he's being a gentleman, seriously be more patient. He's getting to know your soul, let him take his time with that. He can get the physical from a prostitute if he wanted it that bad, he wants something SERIOUS which is why hes not getting into the physical. Trust me, hes worth it:)

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A male reader, RAINORFIRE United States +, writes (12 September 2009):

RAINORFIRE agony aunt- is this guy not sure if he can make a move because I'm not giving him signals, or

- is he just naturally shy and/or inexperienced, or

Its probably a combination of those two, if he wasnt into you he wouldnt let you drag him around like this leaving him for your ex then calling him a month later it seems to me your just keeping this guy around so you have someone to fall back on, he seems like a nice guy the guy youve been waiting for but keep playing him and hell figure out the game and leave.

if you like this guy cut ties with your exes.

dont worry about it if your happy hanging out with him just ride it out if he said he wanted to be more then freinds so when hes ready and you sho him your ready im sure he attempt to take things to the next level, but personally i wouldnt want to get attached to a girl whoes running back to her ex when ever he comes knocking.

U got what you wanted right so be happy hell try to get in your drawls when hes ready.

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