A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I'm looking for some advice regarding my ex.My ex and I dated for 4 years, and he broke up with me 2 years ago. It was sort of mutual, as we argued about little things quite often. We had a lot of differences in our interests (he liked sports, country music, etc, while I preferred classical music, pottery, etc). We had a great sex life together and had some mutual interests (in wildlife) and tried to get into eachother's interests as best as we could. Even after we were broken up, we were intimate and spent time together quite often. We weren't emotionally over eachother. I wanted him back as a boyfriend, but was going overseas for a year so he wanted us to stay apart.A few months after we were broken up, he started to date around in addition to still sleeping with and spending time with me. He started seeing one of my friends who previously told me she wasn't interested in him. I felt betrayed by her for seeing my ex after she said she had no interest. In fact, he had me sleeping at his place the weekend before I left, and then had her over the following weekend.I went out of state on my business trip and him and this girl started dating. He still called, emailed, and texted me on a regular basis. I asked if his girlfriend cared, and he said she didn't. I felt hurt that he had moved on while I still had/have feelings for him, but tried to keep a friendship going. He would often vent to me when he had trouble with his girlfriend and we would both reminisce about old times.After coming home from my trip for Xmas, we had some semi-flirty conversations over skype and I asked him to hang out, if his girlfriend didn't mind, since we were still good friends. I made the mistake of trying to subtly suggest to secretly mess around with him if he wanted, so he denied my offer to hang out and I left overseas again, but we remained in close contact.I have come back from my out of state job and am now back to living quite close to him, but he is currently on vacation with his girlfriend. He's been texting me and calling me through this trip though. One night he called to vent because him and his girlfriend got into a fight. I told him that every relationship has its ups and downs, and to not worry. He kept saying they were 'almost broken up'. He said his girlfriend is upset that he tells me so much, but we are eachothers closest friends and we always talk to eachother about everything. I am still not over him so I don"t want to get my hopes up, but I hope he is single when he returns so we could try to give it another shot after all this time. Do you think he was venting this to me to hint to me that there might be a chance? Is he really over me, even though he's had this girlfriend for over a year?
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (21 June 2013):
 I would honestly, stop the chatting with him. IF he ACTUALLY break up with her then MAYBE I would consider talking and then later on dating (perhaps). But I SERIOUSLY doubt the GF is totally OK with him flirting/chatting with you.
Is he really over you? It's hard to tell, it could be he keeps talking to you because YOU stroke his ego by "hanging around".
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