A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:There is a guy I am interested in who lives near me and we surf at the same break almost everyday. Whenever we see each other, he paddles up to chat to me. He seems a bit shy at first, but most of the time he makes good eye contact, smiles a lot and asks me a lot of questions.And it's not just small talk, he asks questions about my life, my family, my work, what I am doing on the weekend, where I am going, Etc. We laugh, we joke, he's just a really nice person.The only problem is he is just so attractive and I have heard all of the girls in town like him. This makes me think, Why would he be interested in me? There are so many gorgeous girls out there and yet he's always chatting to me? But I've seen him around other women and he is very shy. He isn't flirty or suggestive around others, he is just a genuine person. My question is, after mentioning these things about him, do you think he might be interested in me? If he is, what can I do to see him outside of the surf? I'm just too shy to ask him to catch up, I feel that he probably knows me enough now to ask if he really was interested. What do you think?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2014): Of course he likes you. He probably feels the same way about you, that you are cute, sweet and fun to chat with.
I'm not a shy person but when I like a guy I always wait for him to ask me out first. Men are programmed to do this. To initiate a date with a girl. And if he has a lot of groupies he might be used to girls asking him out. So you'd be better off setting yourself apart from them. Letting him chase you. He'll like that.
If a guy likes you he will find the balls to ask you out. You don't have to do anything but be yourself. No need to force it or take the reigns on this one. And that's what you want to know, right? If he likes you. If he asks you out, you'll know he does.
How old is he? If he is in his early to mid 20's, I would proceed with caution. Men of this age group, add to it this much female attention, are not likely to settle down with anybody.
If he is your age, however, he may be looking for something more serious, which makes him a much safer bet to consider going out with.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (19 December 2014):
 I think you should just ask him to coffee and talk in a more personal setting. Shy men don't want to risk with gorgeous women. You may think that gorgeous women have a line up for men pursuing them but men are more nervous than you think. Vain men, players would know what to do to charm beautiful women, or they want arm candies to show off but I have seen many average looking women with better looking boyfriends. I am sure many supposedly average women can be done up, dolled up too but when it comes to serious relationships, men feel more secure with average looking women.
You just have to find out what he is interested in, specifically. Then you can proceed if you like him in a deeper way.
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