A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay so my boyfriend and i have been on and off for about six years. Last March we decided we really loved eachother and were trying to make it work this time. He grew up where his mom had a different man about everynight and had a very ruff childhood and wasnt taught anything better but the more the merrier. I know he loves me but he has cheated a couple of times. I accuse him alot and we fight alot which makes me think he will. he has changed alot in his life for me and i know he can stop because it hasnt happened since the last time i caught him and told him if it happened again i would leave him. Since then he has had the option to sleep with other women and has not. but the girl that he did cheat on me with moved back up here today and we have been fighting alot i know she wants to hook up with him when she comes up so what do i do to get him to not want to see her and to not want to cheat anymore. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2008): There are two types of people in this world: those who allow themselves permission to cross that line into cheating, whatever the reason; and those who don't - ever. You boyfriend belongs to the first group - is that the kind of boyfriend you want?
A
female
reader, lotus mama808 +, writes (23 June 2008):
 If someone wants to cheat, he/she will no matter what their partner does to try and make it stop. And of course, for you, therein lies a problem! You say he hasnt cheated since the last time he did it...are you SURE? And you guys have been fighting a lot...about her? Most likely, for him, not being a cheater will be like kicking a heroin habit (sorry for the awful analagy). He was raised to believe this kind of behavior is okay. As long as there is temptation, he has a very good chance at becoming weak when he faces it. You love him and know him better than I do, so all I can do is kind of generalize from the information you provided. Try to always put yourself first, because if he does continue with cheating behaviors, and you get pregnant with his baby, you will feel 10 times worse when you find out he hasnt been faithful! Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (23 June 2008):
Tell him you don't want him to see her. If he respects your fears over his cheating then he should understand.
You have to give him a break sometimes though, you should never accuse him unless you really think / have got proof that he has cheated. Otherwise, if he thinks that you think he's cheating anyway, what's to stop him actually doing it?
Make sure you are the most loving brilliant girl ever when he stays in and doesn't see this girl. Make him realise that the girl he has at home is better than any other in the world.
And don't blame his childhood or let him use it as an excuse. People grow up and learn that things are not acceptable.
Good Luck!! xx
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