A
female
age
36-40,
*edup.com
writes:Hi, please someone help! It's driving me crazy!Basically, I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years... Things were so good to begin with, we did everything together. He stopped seeing his friends a few months before we got together because they all smoke weed and he didn't want to be involved with it anymore. So, it was just me and him, I still saw my friends though. Before me he was single for about 5 years, he's 26 and I'm 22. The problems started when we moved in together... He likes his computer games alot and it seems that's all he does. I'm very much ignored now. He's starting seeing his friends again too. Sex had been brilliant, we always did it for one another but now it's impossible to get him in the mood or get him hard!! I try so hard, walk round the house naked and stuff but he's not interested. I go to bed all the time on my own. Eg, I ask him if he fancys an early night, wink wink, this will b around 8pm but he'll give me the excuse he's tired, so I end up going to bed on my own and pleasuring myself, he won't come to bed till about 2-3 in the morning, so, so much for being tired!! I'm at the end of my tether! I have spoken to him so much about it, he says he loves me and still fancys me, but then why is he putting sex off and not getting hard? We seem to argue about this everyday now... I just dnt know what to do. Is he cheating on me? Doesn't live me? Doesn't fancy me? Or is he gay??? The whole situation has made me feel so ugly! I just need some advice.... Please!!
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female
reader, Fedup.com +, writes (10 June 2010):
Fedup.com is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou that is some good advice! I will get home from work tonight and talk to him. World of Warcraft is so annoying! I hate it! Lol. Thanks for ur advice :-) x
A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (10 June 2010):
 Hold on if you can babes, don't cheat, give it a bit of time if you love him.
Yes he's got an addictive personality. He's addicted to the computer (I hear Warcraft hooks people bad) and he's likes his weed.
It's the weed that has turned him off sex. There are different types of weed, some make men sex maniacs, some make them too calm that they just can't get hard.
Get him off the weed, get him off the computer, get him out of the house, start getting him to take you out, dancing, sports, runing, theatre, walking in the park.. anything, just get him out of the house doing things together.
He's living in a dream world of drugs and internet reality, bring him back to earth and I think he'll wake up and realise you are there. He loves you, but he's not in the world at the moment.
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A
female
reader, Fedup.com +, writes (10 June 2010):
Fedup.com is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys... I don't think it's porn or any dating sites. It's world if Warcraft! He has his own computer room and I creep in sometimes and that is what he's playing.
We have had Many talks over this, he crys saying he doesn't want to loose me etc and he's lovely for one day and then the next day he's back to him same old ways. We havnt had sex for over a month and the time before that was another month. I have tryed to break up with him, nut in all honesty I can't afford the rent on my own. The contract runs out at the end of September, if he doesn't change I will find a place in my own. I do love him but can't take anymore. Things have got so bad I just booked a girls holiday for 3 weeks time. I dnt think I'd cheat on him but i will be tempted... I'm just human and need sex!!
Thanks again for those that replied! X
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (10 June 2010):
 He's internet addicted. Could be porn, could be World of Warcraft. Have the dark circles appeared under his eyes yet? It's interesting that he used to smoke weed with his friends, and now is starting to hang out with them again.
He has an addictive personality, and it's taken over his life. You need to have a very serious, long, detailed talk, and you need to make him listen to you. It's very possible that's he's too far gone and won't notice that you're no longer there until he wakes up, bleary-eyed, and wonders what went wrong.
But you have to be concerned for YOU. If he's going nowhere, you're going nowhere. You're not married to him, so if he doesn't ChANGE, cut the guy loose and move on. He's headed for another 5 years of single life.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2010): First, you need to figure out what's so great on his computer that is taking Up all his time. The internet can lead him astray, i.e. porn, dating sites, etc. I don't recommend snooping, but be stern in your resolve to RESOLVE your issues. More importantly, approach the convo with warmth and understanding. Worst thing you can do is past judgment or assume the worst. Communicate. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2010): First, you need to figure out what's so great on his computer that is taking Up all his time. The internet can lead him astray, i.e. porn, dating sites, etc. I don't recommend snooping, but be stern in your resolve to RESOLVE your issues. More importantly, approach the convo with warmth and understanding. Worst thing you can do is past judgment or assume the worst. Communicate. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2010): The only advice I have is...find a better man :( this guy has some issues and he is not being truthful or forthcoming with you so unless you do some super spy work, you will probably never find out the real story. If you do decide to get to the bottom of this, he will resent your invasion into his personal space....lose/lose for you.
It would be quicker and easier to find a new boyfriend that is a little more together.
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