A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:i am a mess. i have recently split from my partner who i believe may be a narcissist. im not sure where to begin, but this is what ive come to believe and know-he is jekyll and hyde. there is no predicting how he will act toward me from one day to the next. at times he is the sweetest person alive, and i am completely in love, yet other times he is the coldest person i have ever known- i cant count the times he as left me in tears without a care in the world-i have become dependant on him in a way ive never experienced before/like a puppet on a string-i have developed panic/anxiety attacks, and at times felt like i am going crazy-he has told me i need to be medicated-he has accused me of not trusting him although he has many female friends and has remained on dating sites-i have had the feeling MANY times that something isnt right, but cant put my finger on it-if i try to communicate with him about our issues, he: gets mad/ignores me for days, blames everything on me, makes excuses, never takes responsibilty-he has a a logical explanation for everything that doesnt add up, and i am often left feeling wrong-i have become extremely depressed, and feel like there is something wrong with me-he has many friends, and everyone likes him-because he is normally softspoken, quiet, calm and cool even when he gets mad.....i feel like he purposely angers me because he cant be angry for himself. does that make sense?-i feel like no matter what i do or say, its never good enough. i feel like an option and a doormat to him. yet every time i try to leave, he wants me back, and soooo my stupidity allows him to repeat the cycle. i am praying that i can stay away, but i need help. please help me....
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2012): why do i stay....i try and try to leave. i KNOW i have to. i KNOW he treats me like dirt, but every time we talk again i end up believing its my fault. because everyone else likes him, there is always doubt if it IS me with the problem. i have never been needy before like this with anyone. he shows/ APPEARS to love me, gives me attention, lip service, etc, and sometimes i feel like weve accomplished things through the talks we HAVE had, but then after a brief period he is the same. he keeps showing me who he is time and time again. i want to leave him, i know i have to, i am just having a hard time with it, and i am here seeking support. our last seperation was 10 days, but i want to make it through xmas without him, then i know ive done it,walked away
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (27 November 2012):
 Sounds like he is over all toxic to you.
I mean if you read your own post would you think, THAT is a healthy relationship with two even partners?
He does sound like he has some narcissistic tendencies, but you need to take some responsibility for the relationship two - if he treats you like dirt and make you feel like crap more then and equal partner WHY do you stay?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2012): Well, you can't deny how he makes you feel.
He is moody and irritable as well as evasive
and accusatory.
He has many girlfriends and is on dating sites.
You say you can't put your finger on it but it
is right there for you to see.
You are being too clingy and he is repelling you
because of your neediness and your insecurities
are showing. He, OTOH is detached and uncaring in
response.
It appears he is insecure and depressed. When
you press him for emotional support he attacks
you because he wants to be left alone.
IDK, he could be having an affair and/or be in the
midst of a mid-life crisis. I think you are right to separate for now and for some considerable time.
Ponder how happy you are alone and with him and if
He is worth continuing the investment of your time
and your self. He is certainly not in his right mind.
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