A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been on and off for this guy for almost 4 years now, our major problem is that he lives 1200 miles away because he is in the military. I am head over heels in love with this man and want to see if we can make it work now that we both have grown a lot over the last 9 months of not talking to each other. He says the only way we would be able to know if we could make it work for real is if we lived in the same city. I have 2 years left of college before I graduate and am looking into grad schools in his area, but there is a part of me that feels that if he really had feelings for me he would want to make it work even from 1200 miles away. I know that I would feel a lot better moving down there when I graduated if we had a long distance relationship for a few years. Am I wrong? How can I make him see this from my point of view?
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you guys so much! I think I might need to move on once and for all.
I really appreciate the advice.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2010): I’m in a long distance relationship at the moment, and the thing I’ve noticed about it from my point of view is, after a few weeks and ‘days even’ I begin to feel like life is going back to normal, back when I was comfortable being this loner without a girlfriend.
The reason this way of thinking sets in is because, I think it’s easier to imagine going back to something you’re already use to being, as opposed to thinking about how great it could be, because you’ve never experienced what it could be like before. That’s the only reason I can think of why long distance is hard. So...
...I’m a head-case, but I think you two need to (start talking again and) talk about where you would like to see yourselves in the future.
Just talk as much as possible to one another, because 9 months of not talking is a very, very long time.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (2 October 2010):
 well hunny in so many words no you arent wrong but then again neither is he, he has a point you need to spend time together to see if a relationship can work. It is hard to ask someone to wait for a few years, and believe it or not you will find it hard as well when your friends start gettin boyfriends and you cant see yours, it will put a big strain on the both of you, the both of you need to be up for making it work for it to actually work, so tell this guy how you feel and if he is not willing to make it work then darling you just need to go out and look for a man that lives closer to you, good luck.
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