A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I can barely be civil to my so-called bf. as the days pass, it just gets worst and worst since he stays nonchalant and tries to joke with me. Not once has he asked if I'm okay or what's on my mind. I tried to tell him what was wrong and he cut me off and steered the conversation. I haven't seen him for more than a week and don't care to. I feel very angry and depressed. I suspect he's cheating or is about to but even if he isn't, his lack of communication drives me insane. More and more I find myself dissatisfied with him. Sex has never been amazing and he made losing my virginity demeaning and low, he does what he pleases without bothering to even tell me like going on trips and not letting me know until 2 days prior, and we've never even made concrete plans for the future despite dating 4years. For the first two, he kept calling me his friend. So, I decided to date someone else and didn't see the point in telling him since he was so into himself. He learned about it and said I cheated. How could a friend cheat on you? I asked. He then claimed he loved me and that I was to be his woman. Okay, but not much has changed. Despite all the crap, I still had loved him cause I saw the good side to him and we had genuinely loving moments. But, I guess I'm fed up now. I dunno. I can't hear his voice without feeling angry. I know some of it is unresolved anger but February is a painful month for me. I wonder if that's part of it too. Anyway, I guess I'm asking if I should pull the plug right now. Or should I wait for a better state of mind?
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female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (23 January 2015):
Dear OP,
Don't wait. I think your bad state of mind is the result of this relationship, which has gone too far already.
My guess is that you'll feel sad, but also relieved, after you've broken up with him. Get as much support from friends and family as you can, and set your mind to a new and interesting task to keep you busy.
Good luck!
PS: Cut contact after breakup.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2015): sounds like you have come to the end of the relationship . Just leave it
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (22 January 2015):
The plug has already been pulled. Now you just have to wrap up the cord,and put the whole thing away. Never go back to an ex. Get on with your life and forget he ever happened. People who bring you down should be around you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2015): A rocky relationship is appropriate, but perhaps the title should be directed at the relationship between your id and superego. The underline tone of your message suggest that you and him have an external force bonding you two. If my assumption is right, then your focus should be on strengthening that bond....until you said it right you have a better state if mind.
You cheated on him; and you want him to make plans about your future. Unstable. Especially, after your excuse-because the key to any commitment- is friendship. Why would you tarnish your friendship, if you wanted more from him.
As prideful as he may be; he continued to engage in a more than platonic friendship with you afterwards. He is joking and holding nonchalant conversations. Be thankful. Because the sound of your dunno-he should have gave you the duces.
You can dish it, but you can't take it. "How did I cheat on a friend?" The same applies when he goes out of town. "How did I lie to a friend?"
My advice to you is to seek ways to become emotionally stable. Gain a better state of mind. And why are you still looking for attention. Ok, I'll ask, why is February a difficult month for you.
Drop whatever you are doing and pray for peace within because that's the only demon you need to face.
In the words of Donnie McClurkin, "We fall down, but we get up".
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