A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I met this guy at uni and we've basically been dating on and off. We're currently not dating but we got really close and speak non-stop. However, we argued a lot and I even cut him off for a good month as when we do argue he's REALLY mean and insulting. When we are together and we spend time with each other, I feel good. BUT, he has a way of hiding 'female friends' from me. I'm an open book and don't have a lot of baggage. He demands to know things about me yet I have to drag it out of him. I have a lot of friends, females and male. He knows them by name and nature. ALL of them. But he gets upset if I miss details or 'didn't mention him before' It's making me paranoid, he hides a lot of small things but every time I want to end it or we get into an argument, he says he see's me as a close person, I'm the one for him, he knows we'll get married etcetc. I don't know if it's just me but since I've met him this has been an issue. Even the ONE TOKEN female he has introduced me to. I'll see them both in snapchats and ask him how his day went, knowing they were out together. But he won't tell me. Just basic 'Yeah nothing special' I asked him why he never told me and he said "He has a lot on his mind and forgot..." I mean, I know it sounds simple. But I think I actually love this guy. But something is definitely up, everyday I feel like just blocking him and moving on. But there's also something that keeps me talking to him... Any advice? Thank you in advance. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2014): You can't move on; because you feel a little possessive over him. He has said things to you to that he knows will put you in an "emotional head-lock."
" he says he see's me as a close person, I'm the one for him, he knows we'll get married etcetc."
This is his way of placing a subliminal-message in your subconscious mind, that makes feel you're "special." It's the way he manipulates you.
It's how he keeps you coming back, or not finding anyone else permanently. "Keeping his foot in the door;", and making you feel guilty about seeing other guys. He manipulates you through your jealous-possessive nature. Even though you really want to let go.
Go no-contact longer. Allow your brain to detach, and go cold-turkey to break your addiction to him. He thinks he has power over you. Break it. Once and for all.
Time to grow up and call your own shots. Not let him play head-games and keep you on-hold; while he's out dating other girls and having a good-time.
Time to grow up, and move on. Be single for awhile, and stop acting like a jealous little girl.
He also knows you're indecisive. So he plays on it. You don't really love him, as much as you feel jealous; because it makes you feel "less special" when he's with other girls.
He's a cheat, and he has you hooked. Break free. You'll love the power and the freedom.
A
female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (13 May 2014):
 HI
it sounds like hes some more growing up to do . I also feel his taking the p..... show him you mean it when you ask him about this otherwoman, and tell him that in the future all you see is a real man knowing he has a beautiful woman to love and cherish and it wont be him recieving the goods . basically his playing you , but keeping you around if all else fails.
Mandy x
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