A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i have been with my fiancce for a large part of my teen years. We are engaged now.When we started having sex he used to last about an hour or longer in bed. but lately this year our sex life has gone down hill for me. he doesnt do foreplay anymore and he only wants sex when he is in the mood. when he is in I'll give him special attention for about 5 mins and then he says lay down and we have sex for 5 seconds and that's it.Not fun for me because i dont get my part out of it. any suggestions on how to make him last longer would help. because as of now i get were there is no point in sex with him any more. Please help thanks
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engaged, fiance, foreplay, in the mood, last longer, sex life Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionas of right now he is gone for a week and few days. i use to throw what you would call a tantrum when he would leave cause i hated the fact he was gone but now i dont care. i miss him but its not like it use to be. i have a feeling of there being someone out there that will give me what i want but i dont want to leave him and havent a clue what to do. i try to talk about it with him about him not lasting long but he just gets mad and starts drinking. and ignores me the rest of the night. like a few months ago i needed a ride home from school and a guy friend that i grew up with i see as a brother offered me a ride it was freezing and i live 20 mins from the school. well my fiancee acused me of sleeping with the guy. but i DID NOT. but since i got a ride instead of walking our relationship has never been the same since. what do i do. think about it as if it were all happening to you. what would you do?
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (22 December 2012):
Watching porn can cause guys to orgasm too quickly, because they're basically racing toward the finish line.
I used to think porn was no big deal because I still loved being with my wife but it started to cause me to cum before her. She got so tired of it that I had to stop watching it (my choice).
If that's not it you definitely need to talk with him and be honest about how dissatisfied you are. Tell him it's very important to you and how would he like it if you came and left him there wanting more?
If he responds to that you guys also might want to try new thing to keep it entertaining.
I would highly recommend not getting married until a solution is found. If it's not fixed it will probably leave you unhappy and lead you to seek another man.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni use to get in the mood but now its just for when he wants it and i know how long it last.
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A
female
reader, ImmortalPrincess +, writes (22 December 2012):
 Him not lasting is only a fraction of your problem. It sounds like in the intimacy department, he has completely checked out. He's only having sex to satisfy HIS physical needs, and that is very selfish of him.
Your needs are not being taken care of, and for the sake of your relationship, that needs to change. Problems like this are not going to magically improve once you get married. At least if you were getting stimulation and orgasms through foreplay, him only lasting five seconds wouldn't be that big of a deal.
Talk to him about this - Ask him why his sexual behavior has changed. Make sure he is still committed to the relationship. Tell him exactly how you feel and what you want. One of the keys to a successful sex life is honest communication.
The longer this continues, the more resentment you're going to build up, and it will destroy your relationship.
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