A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:A few years ago I fell in love with my science teacher. He is about thirteen years older than me and I'm so lost without him. I was only fourteen but then when I left for high school I grew depressed. I remember crying because I thought I'd never see him again. I miss him, a guy who I didn't know too personally but who stole my heart with "hello". As cheezy as it sounds, its real. I just want someone to please help me out with some advice. I saw him when I was a freshman two times that same year. I was nervous and my heart felt like it was going to explode..but I loved every second of that feeling. I don't know if he has a girlfriend but I know I love him. I want him to know that from the bottom of my heart. I think he thinks I'm rude and hate him because I get so nervous I can hardly find words to talk to him. i just need help. What should I do to win his heart?
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female
reader, purplemonster10 +, writes (27 January 2009):
oh and he's not married. I know he used to have a girlfriend but then they broke up. But I'm not sure what his current status is at all
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2009): Thanks who ever wrote beneath me. You really understand hwo hard it is for me. When I heard that I have to move on, it was the hardest advice to hear! Hopefully with time he'll fade off my mind. I promise myself everyday that I won't think about him but I always do somehow. It's frustrating andmakes me depressed at certain times of the day. I go through my ups and downs and sometimes I want to already be in college so I can just forget him. What makes things even harder is that I can't seem to find a guy my age who I feel strongly attracted to. I don't know what to do anymore. I pray that one day I can move on or with fate, we'll meet up again.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2008): ignore the poster beneath me
im sorry if i sound bitter and unpleasant but advice like that really grates on me.
She doesn't want 'someone her age'- she wants HIM, and it doesn't matter what age he is, or whether he's her teacher or not, when you fall in love you can't just forget about that person. many novels, poems and songs have been written on the subject because it is one of the greatest tragedies in life, in my opinion.
So I won't tell you to bravely march on and go out with friends looking for a new boy your own age. if it happens then it happens and great, im sure it'd probably be for the best. But in reality it doesn't work to just go out and find someone else, it's not as simple as that.
There's really no cure for this. Tell him when you leave if you wish - but if you've hardly spoken to him then I wouldn't expect a particularly warm welcome. Is this teacher married? Does he have a girlfriend?
In my opinion, all you can do is wait it out, and with time the pain will fade, you will think about him less and less, you will move away, go to uni, get a job, whatever. You WILL move on eventually, i promise you. And I know that that's not what you want to hear, you want to get him - of course you do. And that's the tragedy of forbidden love situations - there comes a point where you have to accept that it's not going to happen no matter how strongly you feel for him.
He will always be a memory, you will never 'forget' him - so don't ever try. However, there is someone out there for you, someone that will make this teacher pale in comparison.
Good luck and I know what you are going through.
xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2008): ok to be honest i was suprised when i heard your story i am only your age to and i had crushes on older people but u have to move on im sure there is some1 else your age xXxXx
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A
female
reader, Tigerlily +, writes (27 December 2008):
Oh darlin, I can relate. I think most of us, men and women alike, had a huge crush on a teacher or older adult at some point in our teenage years. But sweetie -- a 16 year old girl coming on to a 30 year old man is just NOT appropriate.
And honestly you could put him in a very awkward and difficult position. He is a teacher - he CAN'T like you or get involved with you even if he wanted to, which is not likely. He is an adult and you are a minor. He could get in a LOT of TROUBLE and perhaps even lose his job, or go to jail if he were to respond to your advances.
Your feelings are totally natural, and I do feel for you. But I'm sorry to say you cannot act on them or try to "win his heart". What you need to do is try to let him go and date boys your own age. In five years when you are a grown adult in the world, if you still feel the same you can look him up then.
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