A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I feel my life is going down a dark hole. me and my ex decided to give our relationship another go but hes made no effort and is on a dating site , he doesnt know that i know hes on there (my friend told me so i checked it out myself ) i have 1 young teen by a different ex ( me and my currant boyf (on the dating site) havent lived together so theres no issues there. in the uk we can claim working tax to help with costs i work part time and have been told i cant have working tax anymore ive appealed and its still a no , theres no reason why i cant have it (its just how it works ) but ive been on forums where other people are in the same boat and left with nothing. me and my child are expected to live on £60 a week to share ive spoken to charity sites and single parent groups and claim anything im entitled to but due to everything happening over the last 3 month im now in massive debt with family and friends (they helped me by using their bank cards / credit cards in their names i havent gone payday loan companies) my so called boyfriend shuts himself off if i need to talk about how low im feeling as tho he cant cope.i dont live in a very big populated area and jobs are so rare to come by ,i have no money and no hope. im not seeing a way out
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (8 April 2016):
 I would spend as much time as possible on trying to find a job that works for you. You seem to be putting a great deal of emphasis on the boyfriend and not enough on getting yourself set up to be independent.
Talk to family and friends about relocating. You can try to repay friends and family through cleaning, doing errands, childcare, cooking, etc. Then at least you won’t feel that they’ve given you money for nothing.
If you are really out in a super rural area of the UK with no job prospects and no way to get around then I suggest it would make sense to move to another location to find work and a future for yourself.
I do agree the boyfriend thing is a distraction from your real issues, so let that go and don’t worry about him.
The anonymous aunt gave you some good ideas and I would encourage you to take those positive steps.
Also see your doctor and get evaluated for depression and overall health status.
The Samaritans have a website and a helpline for people who are feeling low; I would encourage you to reach out to them as well.
Best to you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2016): Contact your local housing association about getting referred to a food bank, living on 60 pounds a week for 2 of you puts you in poverty - I can't see how this is fair to leave you like this. Drop the bf for good, he's not interested if he was he wouldn't have stayed on dating sites and he would at least be there to listen to you and help you apply for jobs and offer similar support to you.Your child is a teen so they are of an age where you don't have to be there as soon as they get him from school - so start looking for jobs a little further afield as the little extra travel would be worth it for you to earn more money (bus, local council car share schemes - there will be options for travel to work if you don't drive).It's not easy, but you will have to put up a strong front for your child but consider talking to them honestly about how your financial support has stopped and so you'll be cutting back on things that aren't essential. Does their father pay child support to you? If not, that's something you should go to your local citizens advice bureau (CAB) and speak to someone about securing. Just apply for every single job you see, shops, cleaner, administration etc... just put yourself out there. Go to your local job centre and they will help make sure you submit good quality application forms and have very good advice on financial support.Right now the last thing you need is a waste of space boyfriend because you need your every to provide for yourself and your tern - you don't want to waste time and energy on someone who isn't interested in helping you.
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