A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm in an emotional affair that is based on sex...lol Well, the affair started with a married woman that I work with. We were both very unhappy sexually at home and those conversations led to us developing a close emotional attachment. I call it an emotional affair because it took her 8 months to have sex with me. We had done almost everything in a slow progression until the point that she had to leave town for work and I joined her for our first time together. The sex was simply amazing for both of us, just what we had talked up for 8 months. We will end up having sex again, but our situation just doesn't allow for it often. She's married w/kids, I'm married w/kids and we are in "comfortable" marriages that neither want to leave. Saying all of that to lead to this question...we go through the same cycle every month, and have every month since this started...she is "on" as her period progresses and then really "on" for the week or two after it...then out of know where she is "off" for a week or week and a half before her period...then she comes back and we're right back in it, stronger than before. When I say "off" I mean its a true break-up. She needs "space", feels guilty, wants only her husband and family, doesn't want to be "needed" by anyone, etc. I have a hard time with this everytime...even though by now I should know her pattern and know she'll be back, I still struggle thinking its over for good. I'm more emotionally involved I think for the most part which makes it harder. What I'm looking for is some understanding of this. Can anyone relate? I know she struggles during her off time with the affair, and I know when she pushes me away there is a void in her life just as there is mine, but I don't understand how she truly feels or why she feels that way during this time. Thanks for your help!
View related questions:
affair, I work with, married woman, period Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (14 July 2011):
 Ask yourself a simple question..is she worth breaking up your "comfortable" marriage.
You risk losing your mistress, your wife, your current comfort all in one blow if you continue your affair.
She is thinking about what she is risking.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2011): instead of fixing your own marriage, you are now in a worse off situation with the married woman who blows hot and cold!!!!!!!!!!
time to man up and either work on your marriage issues or get out. your wife deserves better than what u are doing and you and this other woman is just so wrong to mess up everyones lives.
LoveGirl
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2011): agree with vsaddict. This is not a real relationship and it is going nowhere. You need to get out of it.
You have much ahead of you; such as how you'll deal with your own marriage and of course how you'll handle it if your wife ever finds out.
I'd seek some professional help to help you sort out what you should be doing with your own marriage. That is, what made you stray in the first place, and how the fact this is a long affair also says much about your current marriage, and so on.
...............................
A
female
reader, VSAddict +, writes (14 July 2011):
 This relationship isn't going to get anywhere so leave her. You know how she is and she can't make up her mind so unless you want to be part of her games, you end it for once and work on your marriage.
...............................
|
