A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been on a long distance relationship for three months now. I am out of the country and as time goes by things get harder. Right before I left I asked him to break up and stay in touch and if we were both available to check in upon my return. He continued to say no and said that he was committed. Time has gone by, it's been three months and things have changed. We used to skype both morning and night and things gradually have decreased. I knew this would happen and I am ok with it. After all it is me who left. I understand the Skype thing not being as frequent as before because of our conflicting schedule, it hurts but I get it. It's hard. In the midst of all he had a job and house change as well. He wants to get married and promises me he is working on getting everything ready for when I return, that being working extra time. So once again his time is limited. Everything he says sounds good. But, I can't help to feel neglected. I email every morning and night. Sometimes during the day. I send love letters, poems, songs, pictures, etc. I try very hard to stay in touch. However, he doesn't. He claims he doesn't like to email and swears he loves me and can't stop thinking about me, but I can't help to feel unease at his absence of emails, texts and others I wish he would do. I know he is busy with the new job and all, but shouldn't he make a stronger effort? Am I being too demanding? I don't want a long email or texts every hour, just an email a day and a text here and there. I talked to him about it and he says he is busy and tired but that he loves me very much and doesn't want to break up all of the contrary he continues to say he is getting our home ready for when we marry.Should I be concerned? I still have seven weeks before I go home. I feel like I have never worked this hard in a relationship. But worse, I feel like right now I am the only one that is in it. I've thought about not emailing anymore. I've thought about letting him make the first approach to contact me because maybe he is not appreciating me fully...What should I do? Any advice? I love him and he says he loves me but he's drifting apart.. I am feeling tired of making the efforts. I thought about sending him some pictures of me and a couple of souvenirs, but honestly at this point with his lack of time and efforts I feel like it's not going to make any difference and to be honest I am not sure I want to put myself out there all on my.. Help!!! What should I do?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2011): I admire ur courage two walk away. I've decided two do the same with my LDR I'm maybe thinking I will find someone close two home in the UK. She never made time for me and took my love for granted people like that are not worth ur time if they can't consider two make time for u. I wish u good luck love find someone who makes more of a effort and wants u in there life.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2011): Thanks. I have slowed down. I have to admit I'm frustrated. I have already told him how this makes me feel and he proceeds to say he adores me and to "please be patient with him, with me, with us". He says the distance is hard on him but he's not giving up on us. I did stop writing as often as I did. I even went as far as not emailing him for a couple of days. I think he noticed and emailed right away. He then asked if we could skype to what I said no. I am no longer initiating the conversations and I have toned down the emails... It's hard to say goodbye, specially because I know a lot of our stress has to do with the distance. I guess I have a lot to lose or I am losing a lot. I think we will fade away little by little if that's indeed what's going to happen. For now I have stepped away... He needs to make an effort as well.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2011): I'm going through the same thing love. I have been dating a woman from America I live in the UK. She never makes any effort two talk with me I always make the first move. I send pictures I write her send poems ect.... every day. And she sometimes takes days two contact me she said she loves me and not two worry when I mention why she doesn't make the effort and is not as committed as me in our relationship. I have felt like moving on but she says she wants me two be her husband and to live with her in the US. All I can suggest is u tell him how its getting u down when he won't make as much time for u as u do for him. And try and stay in there and be strong. Maybe ease of with sending pictures and communicating with him. Maybe then he will realize how much he misses u and if he truly loves u he will make more effort in the future good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2011): Thanks... I already knew what you wrote I guess I was just looking for that last hope that I was indeed overeacting... I think it's time to move on... Thank you!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2011): Words and actions are both different things.When words are not backed up by action, trust action more.Communication is the only bridge in a long distance relationship. If the bridge is not available, then what is there in a relationship? Trust your instinct.Love cannot thrive in silence.If one wants something, there's always a way. If one doesn't want, there's always an alibi.Love is a pleasant experience. If at an early stage of your relationship you are going thru this kind of agony, are you willing to punish yourself forever with this guy? Wake up,girl! There's a lot of guys waiting your way.Cheer up!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2011): Words and actions are two different things. Action speaks more than words. Trust on actions rather than words. You cannot sustain love by just promises.The action must be there to support the words. When you love someone,you cannot remain silent.In the first place, love should be a pleasant experience while both are yet unmarried because this is the strongest foundation for a lasting relationship.If at this point life is an agony for you for doing all the efforts of communicating with him,are you willing to spend the rest of your life running after him? Wake up, girl!
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