A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone I am 25 and in my first serious relationship and have a few questions about sex:1. When I am kissing my partner (he is 40) he doesn't seem to get aroused. He does when I do other stuff like give him oral but not when we make out..does this mean he does not enjoy it? (we dont have sex, I'm a virgin and dont want to just yet). 2. Sometimes he doesnt want oral sex. He says he is tired does that mean he is getting out of it or is he tired?3. Does the fact that he is 40 going to have an affect on his sex life. Before we got together we were good friends, and he used to talk about his crazy wild sex with his ex (he was 33 then) could things have changed much since? Does age really affect sex?4. He has a lot of debt and is self employed and has lots of rpessures and he says that sometimes he doesnt feel like being sexual- is this true or is this to get me off his back. I ask because my ex (who was 22 and I was 20) was always on my case about sex and he was always trying to get me to give him oral sex three or four times a day but my current partner is not like this and it worries me that he is not as into me as my ex was. Thank you everyone!
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (1 July 2010):
 Since he has a lot of debt, the seriousness of this relationship has its own limitations.
First of all when i see a young woman hankering an older man for more intimacy, there is something wrong with the man medically or psychologically. His mind can be horny, but his body can't cooperate. At age 40, the urge to have sex calms down a bit, but the sex drive doesn't decline much. His telling you about his wild sex at 33 is to cover up his sexual incompetence. It's to your disadvantage if you marry him.
To him, he can show off to everyone that he still got something in him to attract a young trophy wife. He got someone to help him pay off his debt, someone to clean the house. After you have a baby, he can find more excuses not to have sex with you.
To you, you become more like a roommate to him, you work, do chores when you come home, ask for intimacy then become tired of listening to his excuses. You feel starved, deprived of affection, and used.
My boyfriend is 42 and I have been with him for two years. He had only one problem getting hard one day and that's because his brother died and he was depressed for a while. Otherwise our sexual life is perfect.
A
female
reader, Bubbles513  +, writes (1 July 2010):
Well 1st age can play a role in relationships but doesnt always.It could be that his sex drive is not as strong as yours, or maybe his work schedule is tiring. I recommend you to doll baby yourself up one day, hair, makeup, nails, and all done, wear something cute that shows skin but not to hookerish looking, make him dinner, and do little things that count massages, rub downs, etc... One thing will lead to another an if it doesnt, just explain to him how you feel and how your affected by his actions, and if he really cares for you, he should understand, and give you some insight. Good luck sunshine!!!
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