A
female
age
36-40,
*alley
writes:I'm 23 years old, I have a little boy who is almost 2 and I am separated from my husband. He is a little younger than I am, and we have experienced many difficult times due to circumstance during the past six years. He has a sort of peter pan thing going on, and doesn't seem to be able to hold a job or be truly responsible, he also has trouble being honest. Not only with me, but with his friends and family as well, which puts me in sticky situations when I know he isn't telling the truth to people. We have also had issues with infidelity (i.e. his little brother's girlfriend), as well as rash financial decisions he has made without talking to me first. We have separated and reconciled several times, the last time being from March until now (August) and things are going well for me and the baby. I have a good job, and friends, in the town we relocated to. Now, my husband wants to try again. I love him, I have always loved him, I am definately passionate about him...but I worry that letting my heart rule in this case will upset the life I built for myself and my son during his absence. He claims that he was just young and that he has done alot of growing up....he will be 22 in Sept. so I agree that we are young, but I feel that given the responsibilities we chose for our lives, and the prospective ways we've handled them it's possible yet unlikely that he could still end up being a good husband and father. I want to believe him because I am in love. Am I fooling myself here?
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (16 August 2007):
 Hard to say if you are fooling yourself, however you have reconciled before and it didn't work out. You ARE both very young and perhaps he has matured a bit but you need to decide how many chances you are willing to give the guy. If this time doesn't work out will you give him another down the road? And then another? Is he good with your son? Is he a good role model for the boy? What if you let him back in and then have to separate again, will that devastate your son? Only you can decide but your son's well-being is the crux of the matter.
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