A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:am i seriously an idiot for getting involved with a woman who has long term relationship prior to ours? She was with her ex for 4 years ! I ask this question because i know most long term relo's turn to rebounds. Are there any ladies out there who have gone for 3/4year relo to something new and felt nothing for there ex? I have asked my girl this same question, yet she denys it and says she feels nothing for her ex anymore and just loves me. But what do i believe? I trust her but at times im not sure if she is telling truth bout her DEEP SEEDED EMOTIONS from PAST lovers. Anyway just want to hear thoughts FROM WOMEN or GUYS who have gone down this path. Mind you, she got out of her 4 year relo, aprox one year ago, and we have been togather 8 months now.. so am i worrying for no reason? or shud i tread careflly?, her ex could turn up and try win her back... i know that when people break up they end up missing them when they dont talk for while, what if my girl starts missing her ex because they have not been in contact? I love her and just want us to fall in love, so what is best thing to do do you think?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2012): It depends entirely on the state of the relationship when they broke up. Did she break up with him, did he break up with her, or did they both realize after trying to work things out for some time that they were better off apart?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2012): Your worries are unwarranted. I broke up with my ex of 8 years, a week later I met my now husband. We married 3.5 years after meeting. The connection is awesome and we're best friends. My ex doesn't compare- mind you for that first year of dating my now husband helped me through the break-up with my ex whoI still talked to(stupid I know) and who I had alot of anger towards. Obviously it wasn't an ideal situation - not for my now husband, but he liked me enough not to care, to get me through heartbreak, court me and then Marry me! I'm glad he did so, I love him more for it!
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A
female
reader, 5ftsweet +, writes (30 June 2012):
Does she still talk to him or contact him? If not, I doubt you have anything to worry about. If she does, ask her why. You could ask if she would be willing to not talk to him anymore (people have different opinions on whether or not it's appropriate to talk to exes, you'll have to decide for yourself). If she says she will not stop talking to him, she *may* still have feelings for him. If she's willing to at least think about cutting off contact, then she is really into you and not into him.I dated someone for a little under 3 years, and once I realized I would never marry this man, it was over for me. The emotions were still there for 1 or 2 months. But after that, I was 100% ready to date someone else. I don't talk to my ex at all. He still has my email and phone #, but I asked him not to contact me and he never has.I think the bottom line is if there is no evidence that she wants him back, you likely have nothing to worry about. If there is evidence (she is still talking to him, or has things that belong to him that she hasn't given back yet, or talks about him to you), then ask her to be honest about her feelings and follow your intuition.
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