A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I've a question pls...well am in love with a guy, we've been dating since last Febr. and he confessed that he loves me last month, the thing is few weeks ago we started making out, kissing, fingering and all that, am still a virgin, and he hasn't put his penis inside of me however he rubbs it as if we'r having sex but without really putting it inside my vagina, and when he cums it's like so close to my pussy, but still not inside of it, and then we stop...the thing is am worried about getting pregnant and he keeps insisting that there's no way I cud get pregnant cos am a virgin and that he must put his penis deep inside my vagina and cum a lot inside too, and he says that if his cum touches my vagina still I can't get pregnant...am confused?? I don't want to lose my virginity and he knows that, and I don't want to get pregnant either! I also got my period afterwards but still we made love many times and am worried...Also, I want him to marry me and am starting to have fears that if he can make love to me like that, then he wont bother to marry me, especially that he feels that marriage is a big thing he aint ready for right now, I dont want to be pushy cos we've only known each others for 6 month, but still we made love! I love him so much and am sure of his love to me, and I would wait till he's ready for marraige besides we'r still young am turning 22 and he's turning 24, so no rush, but I want him to have it on his mind and work for it without being pushy, what do I do?Thnx a lot!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThnx 4 ur answers :)
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female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (7 August 2006):
 Sex questions first! It is possible to get pregnant without full penetrative intercourse - if he gets an erection then sometimes there are sperm on the tip before the main ejaculation so withdrawal during sex isn't a reliable method of stopping babies. It is less likely to get pregnant without intercourse but sperm at the exit of the vagina can swim up and meet an egg (i.e. pregnancy). You say you had a period since you fooled around and that usually indicates no pregnancy but you should learn about the way your body works, and not take his word for it particularly since he is giving you inaccurate advice. It sounds like he needs some advice too so why not buy a book and read it together?
Marriage question: You sound pretty anxious about your virginity and the whole marriage thing. It is up to you to decide when you have sex, but don't think he isn't going to get married because you are allowing physical contact. If he did think that way...why would you want to marry him? Relationships cannot last long-term with someone really judgemental! Perhaps he doesn't feel that way - I am not saying have sex with him as you can decide when is a good time but denying yourself a sexual relationship just because you think it will affect your chances of getting up the aisle is not really a good thing. Perhaps you need to stop thinking about what he 'might' be thinking and start talking to him to find out what is really on his mind. Good luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2006): First of all, YES there is a danger of your getting pregnant from this kind of sexplay. It's what's known affectionately as a splash conception, and however unlikely it is, if one lucky sperm makes it through your defenses, you could indeed become pregnant. Your best bet would be to insist that he wear a condom, start a regimen of birth control for yourself, or both.
As for marriage, 6 months is far too short a time to be worrying about that right now. It's fine to think about it in the very long term, but recognize that you should get to know someone very, very well before you commit yourself to them for life. It's perfectly natural for your boyfriend to be wary of such a huge commitment like that - because it IS a huge commitment, and shouldn't be undertaken lightly.
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