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female
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anonymous
writes: My partner will be 50 in april. he wants to spend a weekend with his friends (male) either in prague, valencia, barcelona, etc. Mainly the evenings will be boozy, with sight seeing during the day. He went away recently on a stag weekend and did a similar thing and enjoyed it, not a problem with me. he has had a weekend away in mind, for the past year, but has been busy and unable to get away. He tells me that he wants to fly out with them on his birthday, and did I mind. When I conveyed my concerns that I'd prefer that he went away either the previous or following weekend, or even the saturday, he wasn't happy, and has really been unreasonable when I stated that i didn't have a problem with him going, but was it really important that he go on that day. He feels it is, and I feel that I''d have liked to have been sharing the day with him! Although I've said just go then if that's what you want. I feel upset about it! am I being daft! He's said it'll be me who's there in the morning and we can celebrate it the night before!
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female
reader, mommyofthree +, writes (16 December 2005):
 It can be hadr when a partner decides they want to spend a special day with friends rather than us their significant others. You say he has done these types of weekends before and you have no problem with the fact that he is leaving just the fact that he isn't spending his birthday with you. While your request is not out of the ordinary I think you should keep in mind that the 50th birthday is a big one! In the end it is his day, and he will appreciate the fact that you let him celebrate it how he wishes. You can plan him an intimate party for two either before or after the event, but it seems unfair to try to pressure him to celebrate something like this your way rather than letting him do it his way. By the way, is you going along out of the question? There was no mention of that in your question, maybe you could try to tag along in order to feel like you are part of the party, but with that you should not take offense if he would rather it just be his buddies. There are very few things in life that we can be selfish about, I believe our birthdays are one of them. Good luck.
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