A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm a delivery driver, and been doing the job for 14 years now, got it at the end of the last recession, but it's a stable job.I've got a problem which is causing me a lot of stress; a female nurse is stalking me, and the cops won't do a thing about it.It began with her stopping me in a local car park while wearing her scrubs, and she began flirting with me, and I told her "I'm ENGAGED, thank you for the compliments.".I then tried walking away, but she followed me to a dumpster, and showed me her sports bra and said "Look how good that IS. ADIDAS ROCKS!!"I then ran away, back to my van.This all happened on a lunch break.This was a month ago.Somehow she's found my address, and sent me gifts two week after that meeting; the gifts were a sleeveless crop top, an Adidas sports bra, a large bottle of vodka and a copy of Motor Trend magazine, and also a copy of Playboy magazine with a note "Love Janine xxx". I wonder if she's used resources in the public domain to get our address?I told my fiance about this, and he said to go to the cops, but when we did, the cops said "It's not our business, it's not even remotely stalking or psychological harassment, unless there's a death threat, we can't do much.".There's also an additional complication; the nurse lives over the state line but works across the border here.In contrast to her, I only cover a specific part of the state.I feel like reporting it to the hospital but have no idea how to write a good formal letter about her conduct; my job doesn't involve formal letter writing, and the last time I had to write one was for a utility bill but I felt I wasn't that good at it.I've had other gifts sent to me by this woman; one was a huge box of potato chips from Amazon (no idea what to do with these), apparently claims "sent from a friend as a gift".I hardly know this woman and she doesn't even live in our town!Could this end up in a court of law and what would it take legally to get her to stop?I've nothing against lesbians or gay people, but should I go to the media about this (my sister thinks I should, if only to highlight the ugly side of healthcare during this pandemic!).I'm not at the stage where I feel frightened to go out, but I do worry about things; I can still sleep OK, but I'm worried what she'll do next.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, RubyBirtle  +, writes (10 April 2021):
I doubt the veracity of this post - or you've omitted many details from your post.
What public domain do you think she used to get your details. You must have had a pretty long conversation with her in that public car park and at least given her your full name and date of birth for her to have used her hospital database to search for your address. A name alone won't do.
And how do you know she works at the hospital? Just because she's wearing scrubs? Unless it was the hospital car-park (which normally aren't public). Maybe she's a dental assistant or a physiotherapist or a veterinary nurse. Lots of jobs require scrubs these days.
And how do you know the parcels are from her? Did she give you her name in that car park? Is there really no return address on the package?
If this post is true you should return all the packages you've received and not accept any more. Keep a log of everything she tries to send you as another poster has suggested. If she sends anything overtly sexual or threatening then contact the police again. If they refuse to do anything, go to your local press - not to out this nurse but to highlight the POLICE'S inaction.
And if you can prove that this "nurse" DOES work at that hospital and that she HAS used a database to get your details and she DID send you those packages and you want to complain about it - send me a message - I'm an expert at writing such letters......
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2021): Record record video every little thing she does to you.Hire a lawyer to get the police to do their jobs.Make an appointment with the district attorney and press stalking charges on her yourself.This is stalking...This is a crime.Maybe the threat of a lawsuit will get them moving.You might want to get a gun or pepper spray.Just because she is a woman does not make her less dangerous.The police are being sexist towards you by not doing anything to help you..that is why I say lawsuit time.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2021): I doubt there is much point in reporting it to the hospital. She probably doesnt even work there. All you can do really is ignore her and the gifts and hope she eventually gets bored. Dont accept the parcels if they are from her. If you see her outside, ignore her. Dont give any reaction, hard as that might be.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2021): If she's all that "fatally-attracted" and into you; and following you around. Why don't you just keep a video journal of all her wacky behavior. Tell her you'll share it with the police. Collect all her presents and keep them in a big box to be returned to her.
I don't believe the police would have told you what you said they did. I think you've made up whole story!
I suspect she's a person you might have had a fling with and dumped; and now she's getting a little revenge. Your fiance must be really naive, if she's buying any of this.
If someone is trespassing or consistently harassing you; it is against the law, and after enough complaints the police would take notice. Supposedly, All she's doing is sending presents and flashed her bra once.
It's really not that threatening; but it seems pretty effective; if she's trying to breakup your engagement as payback for something you might have done to her.
Maybe you've forgotten how you first met, and she's trying to refresh your memory?
If any of this is true, she ain't crazy and she's no stranger! She knows you!
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (23 March 2021):
 Well technically she has not done anything wrong apart from flirting with you in the car park, and sending you some nice gifts.
Sure there are lot of guys who would not mind being in your position, a nurse, still in her scrubs flirting with you in a car park, then sending you expensive gifts.
How do her actions highlight the ugly side of the health care during the pandemic?. The Nurses have played a vital part of keeping everything going, and we have a lot to be thankful to them for.
You have reported it to the police, so at least something is on record. There is nothing else you can do, so just enjoy being chased by a nurse, and recieving nice gifts.
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