A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:So backstory: I've been in a relationship for 2 years and recently I've been thinking a lot about how he doesn't really make me happy anymore. I've spoken to a few friends about this and they have suggested breaking up which is much easier said than done since we live together and are stuck in a contract. To make matters worse I now think I have feelings for somebody at work, which I'm not sure are just because I'm having a hard time in my relationship or if there really is something there. I can't sleep because of this. I don't know what to do.
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female
reader, Keeley345 +, writes (6 April 2019):
Patiently wait until your lease ends and have other accomodation lined up as well so you have somewhere to go to. Your r/ship is dead in the water but you are finding happiness gradually e.g a new love interest. You will move out eventually but it's the waiting that's frustrating.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2019): I agree with the other posters. Be VERY careful how you break the lease. People show their true colors in bad situations, so you never know if your boyfriend will retaliate or act out of character, putting you at financial/legal risk.
Ideally, wait until your lease is up. If you can, overlap the two leases by a week or two, in case things go south with your boyfriend and you need to move out sooner than expected. It is WORTH the money. Also make sure you have movers/trucking lined up, and have a clear idea of what's yours/his. THEN, talk to your landlord about your options and/or to inform that you are not renewing the least. LASTLY, break up with him. Then move quickly and painlessly, minimizing interaction. If possible, take a day or two off to pack and move, while he is at work.
It's ok to have a crush on a coworker but realize it probably won't work out. Don't let that dictate your decision to break up with your boyfriend. Break up because you feel the relationship is not right for you, NOT because you have false hope on a new imaginary relationship. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2019): Talk to your landlord and see if you can buy your way out of the rental contract.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2019): Careful about getting out of your lease; because you may not get your deposit back. He could do damage to the place, and blame you for it. So ride it out, while looking for another place to live. You haven't mentally decided if you're even going to breakup; so leave no room for second-guessing yourself. I'd seek a legal opinion about your contract first. Do it by the book!
Make sure you inform your landlord both by certified-letter and follow-up call when or if you plan to break your lease. Do not leave it up to your boyfriend. He might be a little vindictive after you decide to leave him. Don't trust him, even if he seems to be taking it pretty well. Protect yourself. Make sure any utilities bills you share, or have your name on it, is paid-up!
Do not leave any belongings behind. Take all your possessions with you. Avoid quarreling over things that might get tossed by your boyfriend, or the landlord!
Don't swing from a breakup to a fling. It will mess your head up, sweetheart. Breaking-up with someone leaves you vulnerable and desperate. Your feelings are raw, and your BF will do everything he can to keep you on an emotional roller-coaster. You'll be attempting to start a new romance; while dealing with drama. Still dragging baggage left-over from your broken two-year relationship. The numbness you think you feel now will wear-off.
You can't get-over it that quickly or completely. Thinking you've got a backup-plan with another guy. I would even speculate that your boyfriend isn't going to just rollover and play dead; while you think you're going to diss him, and startup with some other dude. There's going to be some ex-boyfriend drama and mind-games!
You better put those "possible feelings" for the other guy on-hold; because you may only be using him as a band-aid over your emotions on the rebound. You're a little needy, if your boyfriend has been neglecting you.
Don't go looking for a soft place to land in another guy's arms; when you ditch your boyfriend. The other dude could play you; and you'll end-up rejected by one guy, and used by the other. He might also play by the guy-code; and decide not to mess-around with some guy's girl, who just dumped him!
You might end-up losing from both sides! Guys don't get as outwardly-emotional as females during breakups; and your ego won't take his superficial-indifference (faked or real) too well. You won't be able to focus on your other love-interest. Not without wondering what's up with the ex?
Deal with one issue at a time. You shouldn't be messing-around with fellows on your job. Especially, when you've got this really emotional mess going on with your boyfriend. You'll be bringing your drama to work; and you need the money too badly to get played and/or head-screwed! You have to look for another place to live! That will take a deposit, first and last months rent...and don't count on dude #2 to offer you a place to stay. He might get-it-on in the sack; but then take a walk! You might be looking for someone to comfort you, if the breakup goes badly. Guy #2 doesn't need your soap opera dramatics.
He's not going to want to play your safety-net and shoulder to cry-on after leaving your boyfriend. Not if he's smart, and knows better than dating females where he works! Which is always a potential train-wreck waiting to happen!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (3 April 2019):
 Talk to your landlord about your ending the rental contract earlier. And talk to your Bf and end it if you no longer want to be with him.
As for the coworker, nope... don't go there. Not now. Dating in the work place RARELY works out. And you REALLLLLLLY need to finish ONE relationship, work through it BEFORE you jump into something new.
So SORT out the logistics first. Rental agreement, finding a place YOU can afford on your own (like a room mate situation) and talking to your BF.
Staying with him BECAUSE you have a rental contract is not really fair on either of you.
Another option is that you OR your BF find a NEW room mate and whomever can do that can finish the contract - still need to talk to your land lord though.
It's not impossible to break up just because you have a rental contract... maybe there is something else stopping you?
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