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anonymous
writes: My partner has had numerous sexual encounters with different men to the extent of reaching 20-30plus.I find her past hard to deal with, especially knowing some of the people and especially when meeting them whilst socialising.This usually ends up with us not talking and being distant.Do I need to seek advice on this matter?
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2005): It's always amazing to me how many men work themselves up over this sort of trivia, like males are allowed to develop sexually while females should just stay prudish little angels forever. Even worse, men are allowed to be "proud" of their sexual accomplishments as their number gets higher, but a woman who has experience should somehow feel ashamed of herself - so much so that almost all the women I know LIE to new partners and lower their number of past sexual partners. I've done it myself when I started dating guys who were the jealous type. And I always wondered, if it bothers them so much, why do they ask?!Bottom line: we are all animals. Females have the same body and brain chemistry that drive us toward sexual attraction and activity. If every woman didn't have this built in, none of us would even be here.Look at it this way, if she's had many partners, she's probably truly interested in and good at sex. If you're insecure because she has had more than you, that is your problem, so don't make it hers. Otherwise, you will lose her. If she still wanted to be with those other men, she would be. She isn't. SHE PICKED YOU.
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reader, maria +, writes (1 May 2005):
Only you will know if you can come to terms with this. Personally I don't think it's a big deal as long as she is being faithful and you can trust her then that is the main thing in a relationship. Everyone has a past and somethings we would like to change but we can't so their is no point dragging up the past. It will ruin you.If this is the only thing in the relationship that is bothering you and normally you are both happy then my advice is don't let something from her past destroy your happiness at present, it would be stupid and foolish of you to do so.
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