A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone! I need advice, because I'm sort of confused at the moment. I'm a teacher, and I teach both English to non-English speakers and Russian to foreigners who come to visit our town. I have this student, a guy from Ireland who studies Russian, and I've been teaching him for almost 6 months now. He came to our town because he had a joboffer and he wants to get a permanent visa to stay here, though he only has a tourist visa now. Since he's 2 years older than me, it's not a traditional teacher-student relationship, but rather a friendly relationship. And well, I've grown to like him a lot. We chat on the Internet and text each other every day, and we eat out together at least once a week... Maybe I'm imagining things, but seems that he's gotten attached to me. Previously when I taught him at the language school, he would be opposed to the idea of changing a teacher. He also invited me to his work, and showed me what he does and introduced me to his colleague. As a matter of a fact, I can see that he really enjoys my company, and he jokes and teases me all the time in a friendly manner. He has started giving me hints in his jokes lately, that he'd like to be hugged or that I look good etc... He encourages me to compliment him all the time :) But he never makes a move on me, never tries to hug me or touch me, and avoids physical contact with me, though while I'm around he looks me in the eye and smiles at me a lot. I'm confused with his behaviour, and I'm afraid that there might be a misunderstanding due to the difference of mentalities (I'm a slavic girl after all)... I come to teach him in his apartment, so nobody sees us and he still nothing happens. After lessons we talk and we watch movies, but, truth be told, it feels a little awkward being around him. I suppose he might feel insecure and doesn't want to get involved with me because he's not sure if he gets his visa or not. His sister came to visit him a couple of days ago and he took her to the seaside, but he's texting me every day and he wrote me that he accidentlly met an acquaintance of his (who he called a stalker) at the seaside and that I have to improve if I want to keep up to her... That's he way he likes to joke. And he wrote me about him having a good time and so on and so forth, which honestly makes me kind of jealous. So I don't know what to do... I'm afraid that if I make a move on him, I might look stupid, and he might not see me as a girlfriend but rather as a friend/teacher. He's single and I could give it a try but I'm afraid. So I'm just asking for a piece of advice... Could anyone tell me what to do in this situation?
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you! he's a teaser indeed and that's what puzzles me, because at times I feel like he's playing with my feelings...
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2012): Don't you think it is unethical for a teacher to make a move on a student???? I do, even if you guys are "friends"... But considering your age, I'll give you my opinion, without considering this as a strict teacher/student relationship ( because you've made it clear it's not only that), well to me looks like he's a teaser, or maybe like you he's dropping hints to see if you guys are on the same page, go figure... I don't know him, but you could always make a move, I don't think you will look stupid, if you guys are already friends it would be maybe just a little awkward if he's not into you which he seems to be ( trying to make you jealous, and succeeding... is an indication) Look, if you're attracted to this guy ( AND pay attention if YOU DO NOT need the money he pays you for the lessons) than you could make a move... because he may feel a little awkward and not want to have you as his teacher anymore...
What is strange to me is, that he asks to be hugged but does not hug you... you guys are alone in his apartment...
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