A
female
age
22-25,
*ustCold8
writes:Hey guys :) I'm from Philippines. Have you guys been in a situation that feels like you're the 3rd wheel in your own relationship? I'd be honest, I think I am or maybe I'm just paranoid. To make the long dramatic story short, I'm in a relationship with a lesbian for 2 years and 4 months. It was really okay with the both of us until such time, my straight friend(who's a girl of course) and probably taken and my partner became close like really close. At first, I was just happy because they got along but as the day goes by, my partner and her spend their time too much compared to mine. I mean, it's just okay right? It's not harming anyone. I was okay as uncomfortable as it was because I don't want to make them think that I'm against them being friends. So I let it slide. But then the time comes that they didn't tell me that they are hanging around without my knowledge. I felt betrayed because I'm her girlfriend, I have the right to know. She didn't even chat me that she was hanging around with my friend for 1 week if I'm not mistaken. And I remember one time, when my friend lied to me that they weren't hanging around. I was so confused. Why would she lie to me? But I won't have of it, I tell her that I know that you guys hang out WITHOUT ME. She just laughed and confessed nervously that "Okay we did. But we hide it in fear that you might get angry." LIKE WHAT!? Why would she say that? I would allow it. I'm not that selfish and she pretty knew that I would agree as long as they tell me. Sooner or later, I talked with my partner about this and she just laughed at me and says "There's nothing to worry. We're just friends." That somewhat ease my suspicions but it started again when my partner always chatted her more than me. Like my friend was her sunshine or her light. She rarely chatted me and she always make the excuse "I'm sorry, I'm just too busy." but she has time to chat my friend? How original. Now guys, what should I do. Am I paranoid or there's something going on with those two? Thank you in advance for your thoughts and advice :) Lots of love
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2019): I don't think you sound angry.I think you're just aware that the boundaries of your relationship are changing.You can look at it with acceptance and tell yourself that your lesbian girlfriend is free to hang out with whom ever she wants to hang out with.In the terms of an exclusive relationship you feel the issue of exclusivity isn't being respected enough and if your bff and your lesbian partner prefer each others company to your own then you can assume that now is the time to drop the exclusivity clause and look around for new friends and in particular a special female lesbian friend who wants to value your time and feelings ahead of anyone elses.You have a reason to disinvest a little and become open minded about the boundaries of your current relationship.So, don't rock the boat unless you want to demand clarification.But what good would clarification do?They already deny it!So why clarify when you can slowly put your feelers out!Unless of course you decide to throw a party and see what happens.Enjoy the bits of your relationship that are still valid in your eyes.But also get that gaydar out and do a little mingling yourself.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2019): First of all you say that you wouldn't get angry. Girl, you sound pretty angry so I think your girlfriend knows what you're like.
Second, it's not up to you to give permission to your girlfriend to hang out with someone.
You need to chill. IF your girlfriend is cheating, then you'll find out probably pretty soon. If she ISN'T then you're ruining your relationship by being so controlling and demanding.
Every woman you date will have female friends. Now's the time to decide how you're going to handle that.
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