A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: I have a boyfriend at the current time, my parents believe that I shouldn't be dating until I'm 16, now I'm not gonna say that "he's the one" or "you guys just don't understand" because honestly I have no clue whatsoever on what love is or who "the one" will be. Currently, to me, a boyfriend is just someone who I have very strong feelings for, I probably won't know what love is until I'm much older. Now bak to the problem, I'm terrified to death that my parents will find out that I'm dating. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (1 October 2010):
Well they might end up finding out eventually. As secretive as you may possibly be, parents usually know when you're up to something. Believe me, my parents were the same way, and once they found out it actually ended up not being as terrible as I thought it would be. My parents ended up establishing rules as in I could only see my boyfriend twice a week. Honestly, from their perspective, they don't want a boyfriend getting in the way of your school or other parts of your social life. When you're young, you typically allow your significant other to consume your life more than you really think they do. So if you can understand their point of view, it may help you understand why they don't want you to have a boyfriend until you're older.
So I think you have a few possible options, which is that you can go about having your relationship and wait to see if they find out and then do your explaining (which probably isn't the best option), be upfront with them and let them know you've been seeing a boy that you really like and that you don't want to disrespect their wishes, but you would like to see him and see if they would be open to establishing some rules, or you can just stop seeing him (which I'm guessing probably isn't an option for you right now). So weigh those out and see what will work best for you. I know parents can be scary at times, but they really aren't and they only set those guidelines ahead of time because believe it or not, they do know what's out there and they're only looking out for you because they love you :)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2010): dont sweat girl i'm going through the same thing.let's just say my dad will kill a lil boy.XD i feel the exact same way as you do and i am not going to suggest that you talk them because then i wouldn't be following my own advice.just keep a close eye on your surroundings and be careful and for the love of god please don't start having sex or give yourself a reputation u know u don't want and take your time and just don't go for any boy.like really really think when it comes to these things.that way if they do find out they'll know that you are mature enough to make mature decisions.see what i'm saying? basically the only thing you'll be wrong for is not telling them
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A
female
reader, Zuni +, writes (1 October 2010):
 Firstly, you should be up front and honest with them. Because if they find out that your dating and its not told by you, they are going to be even more pissed. The best thing to do in your situation would be to instead of calling him a boyfriend, tell your parents that you have a close guy friend. That way your aren't technically lying. Question: are your parents the kind that don't want you to have friends that are guys? I also think that you should respect your parents wishes on the dating issue. However, if you want, you can have a conversation (if you think it will be successful) explaining to your parents that you are now a teenager and that they should give you a little more freedom and trust, just make sure that you can back it up with reason. Remember, parent always have a way of finding things out, somebody might accidentally slip and mention something, so the sooner you establish your side of the story to your parents, the better.
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