A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I feel like I'm making the wrong decisions in my life. I'm only 21 years old and I feel like any decision I make is going to drastically alter my life.I've just spent 2 years at university studying music. During the course I worked with people who, to me, were considerably more talented than I, and it's made me feel insignificant, to the point that I want to give up music altogether. I'm just not talented enough.So, I've decided to take a gap year and work, but tonight I've found out that my parents think that is the wrong decision. I've been working weekends for a company for 3 years so my job is steady, and I'm now working through the week instead. I've gone from working 12 hours a week to 20, so my income isn't too bad either. But it's so deflating to know that my parents aren't behind my decision.I'm quite comfortable with my situation but it bothers me that other people don't think I'm doing the right thing. My ex inparticular keeps saying I'm doing the wrong thing. She says I lack ambition and that I should have a 5 year plan ready... but how am I suppose to come up with a 5 year plan when I don't know where I'm going to be in a years time? She's constantly on my back about sorting out a 3rd year at uni, but the 2nd year has only just finished. I have literally only finished moving out of my university house TODAY.All I want is a little support and encouragement and nobody will give me it! I don't know what to do! I feel like the whole world is on my shoulders! Please help me!
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male
reader, rivi  +, writes (24 July 2010):
There is a lot of uncertainty in yr mind about what you really want to do - to me this strongly indicates that the better option is to take the year out.
Meanwhile could you negotiate with the uni over the 60 % thing - ie ask if having the year out can be seen by them as a plus kind of making up fo the 5% shortfall and will they guarantee you that place for Oct 11 ? Point out also it enables you to earn needed cash and gives time for you to do any prescribed reading / practical work the course leaders suggest.
But don't go this year - you seem too distracted to be able to fully concentrate on the course and get the best out of it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your answers, they have put thing into perspective!
Rivi - Unfortunately the university I studied at started out as a 2 year course with a 3rd year top up in a different subject in music (soundtrack, whatever that is). After the 1st year of the course it was announced that the Soundtrack course was being closed by the university! This meant that everybody had lost an easy route onto a 3rd year. We have spent the last year applying to other uni's who will let us onto a 3rd year, which hasn't been easy because all the other uni's have had places to fill meaning they couldn't accommodate everyone on my course.
Out of all the interviews I had, one place gave me a conditional offer, the condition being I passed my 2 years with a score of 60%+, I got 55%. They said they'd still consider me if I called them and explained the situation and I'm going to, but after the year I've had a uni I really don't feel up to going straight back in just yet. I know it's risky, as it jeopardizes my chances of getting onto a 3rd year course anywhere, but in the mean time I can earn money which I will really need if I do go back to university.
Torn Apart - Could you elaborate more on your transition from Business to Education? Were these subjects you were studying at university? Did you change courses? Or have I misread? If I haven't, how did you change courses? Admittedly after being on a music course for 2 years I feel like I am way out of my depth. There are a lot of REALLY talented, REALLY hardworking people out there, and I feel like I need a change in direction. I was considering going on to a course in media. If I'm honest I feel probably more talented and passionate about film making than music. Do you know how I could do that? Is it even possible?
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A
female
reader, torn_apart  +, writes (19 July 2010):
i can understand your decision, I've just completed university and changed from doing business to education and loved my education change. Although my father didn't agree - and now doesn't support where I want to live or work. But hey, I wouldn't change my decision for anything.
I decided that in life, we all make decisions, none of them are wrong because it all makes us who we are. Accept your choice and be happy. Your parents will come around eventually. Not sure why you care what your ex says, once a relationship ends, neither have the right for input.
In life we have to make choices that are best for us - we can't please everybody so why try?
Hope you enjoy your gap year and all the best in the future.
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A
male
reader, rivi +, writes (19 July 2010):
Well is your University guaranteeing to let u come back after a year's gap and resume the course w/o probs ?
If so you can't come to any harm just acquiring an extra year's maturity and experience. Plus sounds like you have plenty of time to practice your instruments or whatever during the gap year which should build confidence for when you resume.....
So stick to your guns and have the break. Smile serenely in the face of any hostility. And if she keeps nagging just break with the gf and get a new one.
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