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female
,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend fixes things for a living. I don't wanna get too specific. I recently checked the contacts in his phone and saw a girl's name (and I actually haven't looked in a few weeks and before that it was a long time), a new girl, which I thought was odd so I tried to bring it up and ask him directly, casually going through the pics of his phone in front of him and then his contacts and then I asked who is this directly and he paused for a minute thinking about it and said oh it's a so and so customer, you can delete it, I don't need it. It was weeks ago. I don't understand why he could have the girl's name in his phone or even place it there. The other thing is, after seeing this girls number, I actually called it from a private number and she sounded really young, even my friend agreed, and my boyfriend was giving me a story that she is 50 years old etc etc with a son of 19 or so. I did delete it -- BUT you know -- sometimes the best way to keep things a secret is to keep it out in the open (meaning to show me oh see I have it in my phone, it's innocent and he could have the number somewhere else or even memorized. I'm not sure what to think. Both me and my 2 friends says she sounds like 19 or even in their 20's tops and my boyfriend told me she is in her 50's.I called her and said hi was your so and so fixed recently and the girl replied what? I then said maybe I have the wrong number has anyone come to fix this recently and she said no and hung up. My friend said maybe she was annoyed with calls.I had a guy friend call so it wasn't another girl calling and he said hi im so and so from this company, I wanted to talk to you about your (and whatever was fixed) and the person hung up. And he even said she doesn't sound so old at all. She sounds very young.I think he lied but I don't know if he's cheating/talking to someone new or there is some other explanation. Do I let this go and wait?Another thing is--my friend said is when she called last week from a private number--the girl said tomey? without my friend even saying anything. Let's say my boyfriend's name is tomey because the girl said my boyfriend's name except I think most people call him tom and I think that just depends on what some would rather say and my friend called another time saying can I speak to tomey and the girl said tomey or did you say mikey and my friend said tomey and she said he is not here, who's calling? My friend made up a name and then said can you tell him I called and the girl said well this is my phone so my friend just ended the convo. It just seems soo weird that it's my boyfriend's name except she is calling him tomey rather than let's say tom. I don't know what to think. I wish I could have just asked were you a customer etc etc and then I would know for sure...help Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Mkay_Good  +, writes (30 June 2007):
 If he is cheating which it sounds like there is a pretty damn good chance then nail him... he deserves it...
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2007): You need to ask yourself why you felt the need to go through his phone in the first place. You clearly didn't completely trust your boyfriend even before you suspected him of cheating.
Your boyfriend may be telling the truth and it could be completely innocent. If that is the case then this poor girl has been harrassed by you and your friends though she has done nothing wrong.
Unless there are any other signs that your boyfriend is cheating, you should let the subject drop and forget about it.
You need to figure out why you went through his phone, why you don't believe what he tells you and why you are bombarding someone else with annoying phonecalls to confirm your own insecurities.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2007): Hi love,
Yes it does sound abit strange but you have had to do alot of detective work to get this far, And a relationship without trust is not a good thing. You could talk with your b/friend but you have got alot of your mates involved so that wont go down very well if he finds out, not that he should be lying to you, sweetheart you have to do whats best for you and if there is no trust then there really is no point in a relationship YOU TAKE CARE LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, flower girl  +, writes (30 June 2007):
 You check his phone and you do not trust what he has told you once you confronted him about it, so let me ask you whats the point in this relationship carrying on.
Ok it does sound abit sus from the detective work you have carried out, so if you think he is cheating leave him and move on to someone you can trust.
But believe me no relationship will last if you abuse someones privacy like that all the time, even if you suspect something or not.
Take care.xx.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionits the person who posted the question --my friend and i called again and it seemed like she was referring to a different tomey..and most people call my b/f tom
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