A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm 24 been with my bf for 3years we live together.I know its stupid to base your self worth on the way your boyfriend treats you sexually. I'm in a constant battle with myself about it. I feel like an invisible tool. My boyfriend watches porn everyday 2 or 3 times a day on anything with an internet connection (ps3,phone) he does it every time I'm out the house, and even in front of me.he has no shame in loving porn. I've talked to him before and said it bothers me how often(everyday) and I don't like feeling invisible. Yeah had that convo a thousand times never changes anything. The porn doesn't bother me but its taken over he'd rather watch porn and have me give him a hand job(nothing for me out of this but. Jizz on my hand) or get moody with me and say he doesn't want me to touch him. I even try giving him a bj when he's looking at porn and he goes limp and has an attitude like I ruined it we rarely have sex and if we do porn has to be on. Me alone is not good enough I have a high sex drive I'm perfectly open to sex 3times a day. I feel lonely and invisible even when joining in on his porn watching and trying to feel apart of what he likes its like I'm not there at all our relationship is good. Just the sexual part is not there. He's even told me he went to a strip club and jerked off in a private room with a stripper he also told me that the stripper took off his pants and played with his penis. I feel like I'm stuck having too choose a good relationship or sex. I'm worried if I end this I might end up like some of my friends who can't find a good bf and are pretty much booty calls.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAfter the stripper incident I drowned my sorrows in booze with some friends and came home and went balistic the cops came and gave me a 5150 my bf came to the hosp. And picked me up the next morning. I couldn't get over it so a week later we broke up for a month. I realized I wanted to be with him even after all that.I do give him credit because he told me right when he got home no lies no secrets that's are relationship it took him a lot of courage to tell me and I respect that my previous relationship before him when I was 18-20 yrs old had cheated on me the whole time we were together and didn't tell me till a year after we had been broken up and decided he wanted to get back together and be honest this time I turned that offer down. I am happy to report a change in the right direction since my bf and I tell eachother everything he saw me crying when I was typing this and I let him read what I wrote. He gave me a hug and told me he loved me. We didn't talk about the problem but his actions speak louder than an empty I'm sorry ever could he hasn't been watching porn while we have sex at night. He told me today he watched some yesterday and got off when I wasn't home which is fine that doesn't bother me b/c I do that too sometimes when I'm alone because for the past 2 nights including the night I wrote this we have had sex and its been all about us and just us and its been great I hope this lasts and we don't regress.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2010): Your boyfriend does not want have sex with you. Your boyfriend allowed another woman to touch his penis, he cheated on you and you say this is a great releationship. You will find another man, a good man but you need to give yourself the chance too. Do not be afraid.
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