A
male
age
51-59,
*ddie85
writes:Hi, I've been married for a little over 11 years. For the past 2 - 3 years (if not a bit longer) our sex life has diminished to the point of virtually nothing (manual stimulation at best). For more than a year, my wife and I haven't had intercourse and she doesn't like me touching her. Her drive vanished and she finds it painful. I also sometimes think she has lost total interest in me. She's been to the doctor about it a few times and has found no help from them (getting help for it isn't a high priority for her). She is in her early 50's, me, I am still in my late 30's and in good shape physically.At this point, I find myself drifting away and flirting with other people. I haven't crossed that proverbial line but I was looking for answers / support from married men who are in a similar situation. I've thought about checking out and taking off, but money and religious implications stop me. I hate to admit it to myself, but I sort of feel that my marriage is largely dead at this point.I am depressed a little, but I have a lot of other things going for me. I've seen a therapist but he wanted to bring my wife into it and I really don't think she'd go -- so I am sort of stuck. I've always felt that I was a last priority in her busy life...Hopefully someone will be able to offer some advice or suggestion.Thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2008): A lot of the times, I'm not in the mood because I'm overwhelmed with all I have to do. 'Busy-ness'If my husband would 'take initiative' to give me options to stop certain things in my life (because he has sympathy for me and wants me to have less stress) I would feel more cared about and that would Turn-Me-On.If your wife works a full-time job, then she Surely needs help at home. I was thinking the other day, if a cleaning lady could just do my bathrooms and kitchen once a week, life would be great! :) Well, you know your wife best...does she ever wish for something out loud, or say if only 'this' life would be better. Also, I would appreciate my husband asking me if I would like a neck and shoulder massage if I'm rubbing my temples.Anyways, this situation with your wife is very serious, and an 'intervention' is needed. There needs to be some changes. How about taking her out for dinner for an honest discussion? Sometimes simple solutions can bring new hope to your marriage. Take Care.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2008): Perhaps your wife is at the stage of life where she just doesn't feel sexy anymore. maybe you could try romancing her taking her to nice restraunts complimenting her. making her feel apreciated as a wife. Flirting with other women is the worst thing you could be doing right now as this may get back to your wife and i'm assuming that her self confidence has fallen already. put the spark back into ur marriage try new moves, take her to places but most of all take your time with her talk to her about her insecurities reassure her that she's the only woman you want to be with. and spend time kissing and touching take things slow. as perhaps sex is becoming just another thing she has to do. let her know that you love her body and that she's still sexy in your eyes
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