A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid, I am in high school and i am struggling with this person that I have feelings for. We are just friends and lost our close friendship not long after I told him that i had feelings for him thinking it would make me feel more relieved. It is gradually getting, but i am concerned, as he is also my best friend's "crush" and ex! They have dated in the past, twice. She still has feelings for him yet its very hard to be open about it, but only because it is him. We (Him and I) usually spend time after school together which personally i think is great. Although i think that it is great, i also feel that it is alluring me to him even more which makes me want to tell my best friend and hope she feels happy for me which i'm sure she will, i just dont want to mess up anything there either. I want to go out for coffee, or milkshakes someday and without getting my best friend upset, i just dont know how to speak to either one of them in a casual approach. Please help me, it has been on my mind for quite a while now.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2019): hey guys, thx for all the answers! this guy was the one who wanted to fix our friendship and make it better, it was just awkward after i told him. he is extremely flirty, always tries to hold my hand, puts his arm around me, cuddles me... we always stay after school together and i’ve been going to his house often. however my feelings for him have kind of died out for him but i also rlly rlly enjoy his company and i still have the roots of my feelings there. i can’t fully forget about him. please don’t mention the girl code because there is no way i would do something to hurt her and not tell her what’s up with this situation. the thing is that we are actually both helping each other stop our feelings. so yeah just an update
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2019): I'm sorry, but if he stopped being your friend when you told him your feelings then he doesn't feel the same way. Unless he reciprocates your feelings and you both want to date then there isn't really anything you need to tell your friend.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2019): You said that he ended your friendship when you confessed having feelings for him. Then you said that you two hang out after school???? So what is really up here? Now this boy is your best friends ex boyfriend, and she is still crushing on him. Right? What about THE GIRL CODE, where you never go after your bff ex boyfriend? You are out of place girlfriend! Either back off from this guy until all of your feelings and desires are dead, or talk to your bff to make sure that her feelings for him are dead, and if she has no feelings left for him, then ask her if she would mind if you talked to him and tried to date him. If your bff does mind, then do not pursue or accept a date with him! At your age, guys come and go, but a good friend IS PRICELESS! Blessings!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (7 May 2019):
 You might WANT to date this guy or go out with him, but he CUT off the friendship because you told him you had feelings.
OP, he doesn't feel the same about you.
JUST because YOU have a crush on someone doesn't mean they feel the same. Which is why declaring your feelings can be the absolute wrong thing to do.
Should you tell your friend that you have a crush on her ex? Well, I think she ought to hear it from you rather than him, perhaps it's NOT really something you NEED to share. If you think she is going to be happy for you... I think you are mistaken. She will be hurt that you are chasing (yes, you are) after the guy she has been dating and still care for.
So stop and think wisely. Use some common sense here.
You ALREADY "lost" his friendship by declaring your feelings... want to lose her's too?
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