A
male
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:Okay, just to start off my life has been going completely downhill. It's a long story and has been going on for about 3 years now, but here goes:There's a girl. She's perfect for me; she's pretty much the definition of what I want in a girl. At first, everything seemed in our favour. I noticed that she would sometimes stare at me from a distance, she likes nearly every post I put on social media. Long story short, she was showing all the signs that she liked me (and still shows those same signs).Recently, we started talking to each other more than we ever have, and she started showing more signs (she would edge closer to me when we were talking, compliments, etc). Until recently all seemed perfect.That is, until it came into my knowledge that she was telling basically everybody she really talks to that she doesn't like me. At first I expected this: she is the shy type, after all. But with this knowledge in mind, I started to realise that she might not actually like me as I had first suspected, seeing that she has no real reason to like me and other people who are better.One day, as I am told, a friend of mine saw her flirting with another guy. Apparently, as soon as she noticed my friend, she stopped with him and walked away. Of course, I was told this information later. This was when I really started to doubt that she was into me.Again, I was told by the same person who witnessed this event that she had connections with this guy: from what I can assume, she has his phone number and vice versa. Apparently she had told him that she didn't like me (my friend knows the guy), and now I really begun to doubt everything.Later, the friend that told me all of this, asked me out. I couldn't say yes: I had someone else who I cared about a whole lot. She was once part of the same friend group as the one I like, and as far as I know she recently reported her to the school (I don't know why). It was here where it really started. I begun to grow sadder and sadder, thinking that the truth is that she doesn't really like me. I had many reasons for this: If I were to describe myself here, it would be as follows:Short, not good looking in any way (to the point that I look prepubescent), lonely, physically weak and far from intelligent.These facts started to take a grip on me; I realised that no one else really loves me, I'm not attractive in any way, and on top of all, if I lose her I'll never be able to get over it. Eventually this settled in, and as I type this message, I am descending into depression.Now, however, I decided to relay over the facts and I've become confused:Perhaps she did really like me all along. Perhaps she didn't, but perhaps it was all a well constructed trap by my friend to attempt to charm me into her, ripping me away from my first love.I'm completely confused and deeply saddened about this. This girl is everything to me: I'd happily take a bullet for her. If she really doesn't like me I'm afraid that I would never get over her. That's why I'm here: turning to the professionals in a last ditch effort.It would be much appreciated if you could make sense of any of this. I can't stress enough how much this whole affair really means to me.Thank you.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2017): I'm around the same age as you (13-15) and as a girl, I can assure you that not all girls are like that. This girl seems to be playing with you to get your attention because truth be told, everyone loves attention.
What you need to do now is to stop all this nonsense with her, I assure you that after you get past a few weeks you'll be fine because this is not love, it is infactuation and your feelings will fade with time. At our age, there are so many others and she might not be the one for you (at least that's my opinion) You might have feeelings for her but she is just playing you so stop with her, she is not the one you're looking for. You deserve so much better.
A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (22 December 2017):
 It can be hard when you put someone on a pedestal and then they don't live up to your idea of them. Have you asked the girl you like out? They say feint heart never won fair lady. If you don't ask, you don't get.
As for yourself, don't put yourself down. And don't expect people to feel sorry for you. Make the best of what you have. You may not look like a movie star but you can dress well and care for your appearance.
It is a time when you can date lots of girls. It is too soon to start playing mummies and daddies. If this girl isn't for you, then there will be another around the corner. Believe me.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (22 December 2017):
 Honey, this is a crush - it isn't your first love. Love is mutual and this isn't, unfortunately. It happens to all of us.
Stop chasing this girl, talk to her less, don't flirt, change your train of thought when you think of her, tell your friends not to talk about her to you and your feelings will fade.
Don't pin so much on a girl, at your age. You're so young and dating doesn't end well when you're teenagers. She's not perfect for you - you just feel she is because you're infatuated and that's normal. Just distract yourself because getting "depressed" over an unrequited crush is silly. It's okay to be disappointed and sad, but depressed is a step too far.
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