A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm single, and I know I am only 15, but recently I have come to hate being alone at night. When I'm trying to fall asleep, I wish I had a guy or even a girl next to me, with their arms around me, holding me tight. Maybe I'm just idealizing having a partner, but how do I stop doing so?I am homeschooled, have no friends, and my family is a dysfunctional mess, so I don't know if that is indirectly causing the issue. But it will obviously be ages before I can share my bed with someone anyway... so how do I stop feeling like this? I try hugging myself, but that doesn't do much good.Please help! I know I'm being sentimental, but this is something I hate about being so young. How can I be happy and single every minute of the day and night? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2009): Wow, thanks for all the replies, I really appreciate it :)
I'll try to make some friends, although admittedly I have a million different issues of my own at the moment; so maybe I'll have to clear some of these up before spending time with others.
Unfortunately, my family is so dysfunctional (we've had fraud, abuse and sex offending problems in the past, to name a few) that they are some of the last people I would take any of my issues to; whenever I have trusted them with my secrets or thoughts in the past, it has come back to hurt me.
I don't mean to sound like I'm being self-pitying, but my situation is so bad that I feel like, if I'm happy and let my guard down around certain members of my family, it will endanger me. It affects me even when I'm not around them, too, so I have trouble smiling or laughing in situations where I should be making friends with others.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2009): I'm no psychiatrist and I don't know you or your family, but I'm tempted to suggest that your situation (home-schooled, dysfunctional family) is directly contributing to your feelings. I think it's very important you go out and meet some people your own age - would your parents object to that?Nobody is happy all the time (well, if they are they're astonishingly lucky) and I totally sympathise with how tough it can be to be single. Perhaps some counselling would help you to understand your feelings?Failing that, perhaps you should invest in a large Teddy bear. Sorry if that sounds like a ridiculous suggestion; I don't mean to be flippant, but you are probably right that it will be several years before you are able to share you bed with a man. I would also recommend that you don't rush into it.I hope you feel better soon.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (13 August 2009):
I used to feel exactly the same way.
You dream of being free from being trapped at home and having a wonderful person to hold you and make you happy.
You want to be held because you are lonely and probably quite depressed. Depression is always worst when you are in the dark trying to sleep.
What you need to do is sort your life out.
Why can't you go and have some friends? You could join a club of some kind, surely?
A girl needs her own friends. She only EVER wants a boy. No girl NEEDS a boy, (although I admit they are nice to have around.)
Your family may be a mess but talk to them and say you want to go to normal school, or join some kind of activity where you get to meet kids your own age.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2009): Two things, One here is a big Hug for you :-)
Secondly, You are you, and I am sure that you are a nice person, as you get older you will meet people who will want to be with you and even share your bed, for now though do what I have done in the past and grab a spare pillow, hug that, it does work.
There is nothing wrong with feeling alone, we all do from time to time, but make sure you learn how to like you and who you are before you let someone into your bed.
You are you, you are special, and you deserve someone who sees that and wants to be physically and emotionally close you.
This may not help you tonight but asIm sure the other aunts will agree there is nothing to beat the hug from the right person.
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