A
female
age
36-40,
*ess_sos46
writes:hi,im 25 yrs old indian female. i was in a livin relation with a white man who is 17 years older than me for about 8 months and we didnt have any fights or arguments during that period of time.this was in USA and after completion of my studies i returned to India My home country.i told my parents and my dad understood and he will agree if i marry this guy but my mom thinks its a no no to marry somone who is not indian.we talk on the phone everyday and discuss it andi know he loves me a lot.but m scared to go against indian society relatives and marry a white man.i'm also scared that i might hurt him what if this marriage doesnt work out? wat r my friends and relatives going to say since we hav a huge age gap.he is also just a truck driver and not as educated as me.what are people going to say..i guess m a coward but just not able to help myself thinking of all possibilities and what if's.also he was in a bind when i met him as he was unemployed ( not his fault as he lost the job due to bad economy) and i helped him pay his phone bill one time and even paid for our first date ,,,things like our ciggrattes etc.but my heart tells me he is not a gold digger.i'm just so confused...it drives me nuts everyday .
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2009): Hey i kinda know where your coming from with this
however, it was my father who disagreed and my mother accepted, indians do tend to try and keep everyone in their culture with indians only but you can't help who you fall for.
alot of indians nowadays are with different races or religions heck most of my family are and we're quite a big family.
if you really love him then you'll know what to do, but make sure he's the right guy to look after you he doesnt really sound like he can be the bread winner to be honest.
anyways best of luck with whatever you decide.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2009): follow your heart, plus your dad agrees! And the guy has to ask the FATHER for the daughter's hand in marriage not the mum!!!! Gosh
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2009): They really do dump that nonsense on you indians dont they. I know many desi's and I can tell you its all talk. They might sulk for a bit but everyone with get used to it. If he is a good man and you are happy with him then your mum will come around.
A famous New Zealand Cricketer Glenn Turner secretly dated an Indian girl for 3 years. When her family found out they did everything to break them up. They have now been married for 31 years and Glenn always reminds them.
If he is your one then no Desi guy will be good enough im afraid
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (24 November 2009):
 Is your mother marrying him? No?
Your father is okay with it? Then what part of Indian society are you worried about? In your example 50% agree.
I would be more worried about the fact that he is so much older and can't even afford his own cancer-sticks.
It is one thing to marry out of your race, another to marry an old fart (I am the same age, so now what I am talking about) with no job.
What would the future be like? Would you remain in the US? If so, do you get permission to do so? Who would be the breadwinner? These are things you need to think off first.
With your parents, you already won half the battle.
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