A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone, I would like to share my story to everyone and please give me some advices. I dated this guy. He's older than me 15 years old. When I dated him, he told me that he's single and never married before. He always promised me that he would marry me and build a beautiful future with me. And after dating with him for 8 month, I found out I got pregnant and I thought it's not really a big deal since he said we would get married soon by the end of this year. But then when he knew my pregnancy, he always forced me to have an abortion. He used alot of excuses about finance, health, etc ....I found he's hiding something to me, so I told him I would not have abortion. After knowing I would keep baby no matter what, he told me the truth that he's married already and he has 3 kids. I was super shocked since he was lying to me all the time... I feel sad, hurt for my self and my baby. I know it will be a difficult time but I cannot have the abortion, my heart doesn't' let me to do so.Now he left me, he said I have to take care of the baby by myself. He will not give me any money. I'm a student now, I don't have any job yet, I live in a senior mobile home with my parents, but we have to move to somewhere else since the rule doesn't allow the kid under 18 to live in there...Can anyone give me any advices how to get any support from this guy? How to teach this jerk a lesson ?
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abortion, married man, money Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (11 June 2015):
 Don't spend even a minute of your time and energy trying to figure out how "to teach this guy (this CAD!) a lesson....).
He isn't going to learn it.... and you aren't going to benefit from that effort....
Instead, get good counsel, get to the courts, confirm that HE is the father of your child.... and get the courts to assure that HE pays for HIS child.....
Good luck....
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2015): I agree with Male-anon. You really need to think about the fact that you cannot provide a stable home to this baby. You have no job. You have not finished your education. You will not have a home and neither will your parents because of your decision to get pregnant. You should reconsider termination, and if you cannot do that, give the baby to someone who can provide for it. Do not use this poor child as a weapon to get back at the cheating ex of yours. It is NOT what a baby is for. The fact that your thoughts are of this nature really emphasizes that you are not ready to be a parent.Please do what is best for the child and your parents who are likely to lose their home because of you, and do not keep this child.Also get on birth control so this does not happen again to you in the future.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (11 June 2015):
 There are housing help available to single moms through State's HUD housing/Section 8 and they can help you find a home.
You NEED to contact Child Support Agency, make sure you HAVE his full name, his address, phone number (AS MUCH info as you can dig up!)- they WILL help you with the paternity testing, setting up child support etc.
And I WOULD suggest you GET yourself a job, because having a child is expensive. And you won't get much from him, as he already HAS 3 children, and who know how his income is. One of my nieces gets $40 a month from her EX husband in child support... for 2 kids... that doesn't buy squat.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2015): Be aware that although baby daddy is legally obligated to support his child, he is under no such obligation to pay your pregnancy-related medical expenses.
Given the circumstances of conception, the harsh reality that you would be unable to provide the basic necessities of life for your child, and the unpleasant prospect of your parents being forced from their home, I implore you to take the time to think about what is best for your child and seriously consider the possibility of placing him/her for adoption.
Every child deserves two stable, mature parents who are able to provide a loving, secure, nurturing home from birth.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (11 June 2015):
 It's easy. Once you give birth you get a court order for a paternity test.
He will be found to be the father.
then you get a court order for child support and have it garnished out of his paycheck.
just remember that his 3 other children will be taken into account when determining how much you get so do not think it will make a huge dent in your expenses.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2015): Take him to court. I hope you can find an association that offers free legal advice. This could be a good starting point. DOn't feel ashamed, ask your friends and family (if you can) for help. He's not obliged to love you, marry yiu, stay with you, he's not even obliged to love and be there for his child, but he MUST take care of his child financially.If I were you, I would distrub teh family he already has. WHat he did has nothing to do with his wife or children. She'll find out son enough when he gets sued for paternaty. Now bear in mind that he may get visitation rights and may ask for custody. But don't be scared by it he CAN'T take away your child from you.If you live in teh states, this may be a good starting point: http://family.findlaw.com/paternity/paternity-suit-faqs.htmlGood luckk!
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