A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear Aunties/Uncles,I'm hoping you can help me sort through my feelings and figure out what to do, I feel like he can't understand what I'm going through. My husband and I are avid gamers, it's one of the things that brought us together when we were dating. Lately though it's been more of a headache for me because I'm nearing the end of my first pregnancy and well, a lot of things that were fun before are just tiring now. I still do play quite a bit, just not the all-nighters or endless hours of gaming it used to be. Lately he tends to stay up all night until about 4-6 am playing and it really disrupts my sleep. The game he plays (which I love btw, just not when I'm trying to sleep) requires a lot of clicking (about 5 times per second) and is on the laptop (the light wakes me up, even though he does turn the brightness to min), the game also requires some sound, and we don't have earphones atm, but he does turn it way down. Anyway, I'll wake up anywhere from 3 to TEN times because of this. Add this to the fact that I gotta get up to pee, and will occasionally wake up from baby kicks/being in a weird position ... (and we share house with family that makes a racket getting out the house for school in the morning) and I'm feeling unrested most mornings.He goes to school during the day, I (and I volunteered for this) watch his daughter who is 2 until he gets back. The one solution that is out of the question is "don't watch her", thanks. It's impossible due to financial reasons and I rather enjoy it.So, last night... he asked to play a game on my laptop (faster/better than his) before bed and I said sure, a game takes 30-40 mins. After that he started another game... and I said "you said one..." and he apologized and I said it's ok, but last one seriously... and he says ok I promise. So after that he started a third game... and I said "you promised." and he said "you're right, I'll quit" I told him not to. If you quit a game, it really wrecks you stats... I know...why do I even care about his stats?? but I can't help it...force of habit, it'd kill me to watch him ruin the stats...So anyway I asked him to turn on the humidfier cuz it helps me breathe and he said sure and I went to sleep.He played all night... I woke up like 4 times... he never turned on the humidfier and when I finally sat up around 5 am and just stared at him, he sighs, closes the computer mid-game, and HE TRIES TO HAVE SEX.I reject that, so he goes to sleep.... he's still sleep... I'm conflicted... I'm not really a grudge person so I wanna let this go, plus my step daughter will be here any minute. But I also feel like we need to talk about this?Help please... Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (24 January 2014):
Power cord…You will get it back AFTER you have done your job as a husband.
You cannot change people, but you can teach them.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2014): Hi, I'm the original poster.@stro, yes actually the headphones are in the mail. (delayed shipping due to stupid snow storm) and yeah...we need a designated computer area in general, I hadn't given it much thought since this is a temporary living situation@person12345 since he has breaks between classes, and only a few easy classes to finish up this semester...he gets all his school work done no problem. And actually he told me before that part of the reason he relishes playing is because he knows when the baby is here he won't be able to at night really.@iamheretohelpyou well ready or not he's already a dad of a lovely little girl ;) and I think he does pretty well actually. Its just more like he's able to keep going despite say 3-4 hrs sleep, and I think he really doesn't understand how fatigued it's making meThanks for replying... the obvious (that the gaming needs to go elsewhere) didn't really occur to me since we live in a shared house and tend to stay in our room. (@person12345)If it's a repeat performance tonight, I promise I'll try putting my foot down :) Cuz' reflecting on that in general... it's something I need to be able to do better as a mom/stepmom anyways.Writing this all definitely helped! Thanks again.
...............................
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (23 January 2014):
 Your sleep is WAY more important than his gaming. This has to be impacting his schoolwork too. Even here you sound really really timid about putting your foot down. You have a BABY on the way for goodness sakes! What happens when the baby starts crying in the middle of the night and he's in the middle of a game? Are you going to have to do 90% of the work so he doesn't interrupt his game?
Time to lay some ground rules, if he wants to play his games he's either gotta go somewhere else or go without. It's totally unreasonable for him to deprive you of sleep for that.
...............................
|
