| A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: hi all,I really need some help. i've been in my relationship for 5 years but i've begun feeling differently about my bf. Lately I feel like we are not as connected as we used to be. I used to believe that my bf was the perfect person for me, and he is my first and only relationship. However, after being in a long distance relationship for over a year, and coming back to the same country as him, I've been feeling off. I though it may be bc I haven't been employed for awhile and have been going a bit stir crazy for awhile...but i'm not sure. When we hang out I feel good about being with him, but when he asks questions about our relationship and future i start to get all panicky and freaked out. I feel like I can't really think about our future until the old happy in love feeling returns. I'm having all these crazy thoughts like he's too boring, and other people don't think he's cool, plus I feel like while I go all out to look good for him , he doesn't do the same. in addition i've noticed that we don't have any mutual friends, and that it just feels like everything between us is so hard when it used to be so easy. He's a great guy, and the perfect boyfriend but because I've never dated anyone else, I'm really scared that I may be settling by staying with him, and sometimes I fear that I'm only with him because I'm scared to be alone after all this time, or to give up on a good thing and then regret it later. I need to know am I just bored with my life, or do I need to move on from him?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2009): think seriously before you make any decisions.
what has happened here is that you both have taken each other for granted. Arrange to go on dates with each other.. cinema dinner etc. Get the love back that you both felt at the beginning. its important not to take advantage of the fact that he will always be there - more like a habit.
if after a few heart to heart talks you still feel you want to move on then go for it but personally i wouldnt. the grass isnt always greener on the other side.
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