| A
male
,
anonymous
writes: Hi, I am a 22 year old man and really afraid to have sex with girls as anytime, i tried it i lose my erection. I try to keep girls at a distance because of this. I enjoy cuddling more than anything else but don't want to take it further . I always fantasize about cuddling girls in bed instead fantasizing about sex. Is this normal?
View related questions:
erection, lose my erection Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2005): Erectile dysfunction is usually treatable these days. However, it’s important to first establish what the cause is. It might be a good idea to check with your family doctor on this. In younger males, the commonest cause is anxiety-particularly nervousness about having sex, about causing a pregnancy, std's, etc. Getting an erection is a very complex process for the male human body so it’s awfully easy for various factors to interfere with it-for instance, worry, tiredness, too much alcohol. If you are a smoker, nicotine is now known to narrow those vital blood vessels-which is why erectile dysfunction is much commoner in smokers. But often, there is nothing physically wrong with men who have this problem. Particularly in the young man, erectile dysfunction is quite likely to be psychological, rather than physical especially if you are: still waking with ‘morning erections' and can still get a good erection by masturbation. So get to that doctor and have this checked. Make sure you have a good checkup to rule out a physical problem first. Good Luck
A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (30 November 2005):
 Well, let me put it this way: it's unusual.
That doesn't mean that you're wrong or weird, but it seems like you're just not ready to have sex with girls yet. Maybe you're just a late bloomer? Maybe you're unconsciously scared of contracting an STI? Maybe you're just anxious about the intimacy of nakedness and all that? Maybe you feel too much pressure to "perform"? Or maybe the fact that you lost your erection the one time is making for a self-fulfilling prophecy (you're afraid you'll lose your erection, you stress, then you lose it, leading to more anxiety).
There's also the possibility that your sexual orientation isn't 100% straight, and that's within the normal range of variation too.
Yours isn't the sort of problem that can be solved by my quoting a few homilies or truths-as-I-see-them. I really suggest that you go and visit your GP, telling him (or her) that you don't feel that your sex drive is quite up to par and that sex scares you. Your doctor can refer you to an endocrinologist, who can check and make sure there's not some organic problem, or if there is, help correct it.
Hope this helps some.
...............................
|
