A
female
age
36-40,
*carlettxx
writes:The guy I'm seeing at the moment is gone away with his best friends (male and female) to France and he'll be back on Wednesday. At the moment I'm extremely paranoid to the point that I'm literally in tears because I'm so worried he'll cheat on me. I know I'm probably over reacting but that's just the kind of person I am.He made plans with me to see me the day after he comes back and we discussed the cheating issue and even his friends have said that he told them he wouldn't cheat but because of all my failed relationships in the past I just don't trust him. We've only been seeing each other a short while but we've slept together a couple of times already and that's a big reason I'm so on edge because I never sleep with guys that quick and I'm really falling for this guy.People are being very insensitive as well, everytime I mention he's away with friends they raise an eyebrow and make comments about him going off with loads of girls. That's making me even more upset.I'm really asking for some advice, I can't change who I am, I'm always going to worry but I just want a little reassurance and advice on how to get through the next week without driving myself insane with worse case scenarios like 'will he get in contact with me when he comes back' or 'has he cheated on me' etc... If anyone can give me any advice it would be greatly appreciated!Thank you so much!x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2008): I agree with the other guy, your feeling guilt and regret over sleeping with him too early and not working out if he's the cheating type or not. If he cheats, he will, there's nothing you can do about it. Even his mates said he won't! some mates urge their mates on, so they sound decent.
A
male
reader, ChiRaven  +, writes (3 July 2008):
 No, he doesn't "have to cheat". If he's the kind of a guy who cheats, he will. If he's not, he'll come back to you.
And yes, you're over reacting. But given the way you seem to deal with things, that's not really news, is it?
But I think the real issue is that you are feeling a little bit guilty about getting physical with this guy prematurely. That's adding a load to the worry this time around.
There's really nothing you can do to make this week go any faster or any better, except to recognize that you have ABSOLUTELY NO CONTROL over what this guy is going to do, and that you're just going to have to accept it. And since you don't know this guy very well, there's at least as good a chance that he won't cheat as that he will. Just take it one day at a time, and trust that whatever comes you will have the ability to stand it. Your life does NOT depend on what happens while this guy is in France. You'll feel bad if he cheats, but the sun will still rise the next morning and you will still be alive. What's the worst that can happen to you if he does? You'll still go on.
Let's hope he doesn't, and that your worry is for nothing.
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