A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hi there I'm going out with this girl in my year at school and things so far are going good. We've gotten close really quick but, e.g. i've not even been going out with her a month and we've alredy went further than getting off (snogging) an the fact is im 14. I don't see it as a bog thing but this girl is quite shy normally and i'm the first guy shes been out with. I feel like i've made her rush into things a bit as in previous relationships i have also went further than getting off, and i feel maybe she felt a bit obliged to do it ? i dont know really. I talked to her about it and she said after it happened, she now likes ne more, but also one of her close friends said to her that shes changing and also that she will probably end up breaking her virginity soon with me. She was quite upset about it and i feel partly guilty :(I think i regret rushing into things so fast with her because of this and also because i am her first proper boyfriend. My fear is that she will now just think im like every other guy, only out for one thing but the thing is im not. Yeah like most guys, when the oppertunity is there you take it, thats understandable is it not ? But i care about her more than that, i dont care if she doesnt want to do anything further than getting off but i think now she feels that i want her to :SAlso i have another problem, im not shure if i really like her, every night she says i love you and i hope we stay together forever, also that your the best hing thats ever happened to me etc. I know this is so nice of her, but it also makes it even harder to think that if i ever did want to end the relationship, it would break her heart :SPlease can someone advise me what to do on both issues, thanks
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female
reader, LouLee +, writes (30 December 2007):
Right, if you want to take things more slow but without her thinking theres something wrong, tell her some of the things you've said in this question, the fact that you dont want her to think you're like every other guy and tell her you care about her and want to take things slowly.
Next part :
if you want to break up with her at any time then you have to let her know, even if it does break her heart, when i first went out with my boyfriend (now ex) i told him 'if you ever want to break up with me at any time in our relationship tell me because its better than living a lie.'
Best wishes x
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