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male
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*uPuHawkins
writes: Hi there,I need some help/advice. My girlfriend broke up with me a week ago, after being together for 15 months. She said she didn't feel the same. She still has feelings for me but doesn't know if it's better being apart or even if she wants to get back... I feel I let her down; she wants to be friends but i still have strong feelings for her and I don't know if i can be "just friends". I want to have her in my life but I don't know how. I see her nearly every day and it's hard being 3 foot away from her not talking to her. Two weeks ago I'd hug her, kiss her, be proud to be with her and now I have no idea :( I loved her so much and letting go is so hard. She's the girlfriend I have been waiting for for a long time and now she's gone again. It seems so surreal, having all these memories of her and now they mean nothing. Think I'm insane ?? Please tell me what you think -x-
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2006): sounds normal enough to me. i've never understood how people go from being in love to being "just friends." I've never managed to stay friends with people i've dated seriously ... we just have to stop seeing each other.
the only guy i've ever really loved broke up with me 2 days ago, and i want so badly to stay friends with him. he's the best friend i've ever had; i can't imagine my life without him, and he feels the same. the only reason we're not together is that he can't handle having a girlfriend who he thinks is "beating him" career-wise - having a female best friend who beats him, evidently is no problem. i'd give anything to have him in my life right now, but i can't. all i want is for him to change his mind and decide my success doesn't bother him; any time i spend with him will only feed that desire.
my advice would be to cut her off. tell her ahead of time that you care about her a lot, and maybe that you hope to be close to her again some day. but you need some time to heal. it's the only way.
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