A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hey. I am a freshman in highschool. This junior and I have been texting on and off for a few months now. He doesn't really talk to me in school. We just smile the casual hey what's up but not a real conversation. I really like him and I know he likes me but I don't feel like I know him enough. We don't have any classes together so we don't have many opportunities to try and talk. He doesn't have a car so we can't really hang out anywhere. I try and drop hints but he never puts forth effort to talk to me. He's not majorly into beer drugs and sex but I know he's not a virgin and I know he's been drunk but I still like him for some reason. I'm not sure if this is a smart situation to get into. Do y'all have any stories or advice to help me? What do I do? Is it smart to like him or should I find someone my own age?I really like him.
View related questions:
drugs, drunk, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2011): "I'm not sure if this is a smart situation to get into."
It's not because he doesn't like you as much you think.
OP here's some dating 101 for you:
1. A guy who's interested will make the effort. Serious effort. He will make time for you without coercion, he will make any excuse he can to meet up. If he has no car, he'll get the bus or get a lift from someone. He will talk to you in school between classes, at lunch, not just a quick "hey" he would stop you and talk to you, he'd text you to hang out and make a concerted effort to get to know you. This guy especially is 17 so if he liked you he would make sure you knew it and he would work to get you.
2. It is very important you let guys make that effort, it is the only sure fire way you can tell if a guy is truly interested in you. We guys are very easy OP especially at your age. If you hand it to him on a plate he'll probably take it but that does not mean he likes you, it just means you're a fresh piece of ass that has made it easy for him. Intelligent girls let guys do the work, if relationships that are about more than just sexy time is what they want.
3. This is very, very important and something very few girls your age are able to comprehend. Actions speak louder than words. He may say he likes you but if he's not making any effort then his words mean nothing. I know that when you hear sweet words coming from the mouth of a guy you like your heart may melt and you may so badly want it to be true that ignore what he actually does. But that is the biggest mistake you girls make, it is literally the most common of problems we get on this site. "Why did he say all those things, then sleep with me and dump me" "Why does he say he loves me but he still won't leave his wife" "He says he misses me but he hasn't called in 5 days." The list goes on and in each and every one of these type questions the guys actions said it all.
You see that is why you have to let guys make the effort. That effort is the action that proves they like you. it is very important you always take note of a guys behaviour towards you. A quick "hey" in the hallway is not a sign of interest stopping you and asking you about your day is. You making the effort to contact this guy and you initiating things is not proof he likes you in fact it will make it harder.
Personally though OP this guy is sexually active, he's 17 and it's exceptionally unlikely he's going to have a relationship with a Freshman, the most you can expect from him in my opinion would be for him to fool around with you. But you see socially there's no chance he could get with you because you're so young. He'd be called a cradle snatcher and it would cause a lot of bother for him.
For now I'd see about boys your age. Start talking to boys in your year and start getting to know some of them. You stand a better chance with them, not only that but you stand a better chance of finding a boy who can and will ake the effort in your own age group.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2011): "I'm not sure I am doing the smart thing with this older boy ..."
If you're not sure, it's not the smart thing. Never any doubt about what's smart.
As a guy over fifty, I honestly don't remember ever knowing any female who regretted waiting until they were ready, but I've known plently who regretted NOT waiting.
...............................
A
male
reader, Red Green 0289 +, writes (29 December 2011):
hello... anyone.... if he's a junior that makes him around 17. Your 13 to 15... anyone see a potential FELONY here?
You need to find someone who is your own age. There is a distinct chance that if you two got together and had sex, he could be arrested, charged as a sexual predator, put in prison and once released (he'll be happy about this, based on what is done to child molesters in prisons... hint: RAPE!) then he'll have to register as a sexual offender, not live near schools, not be around kids... all because he was 4 years older than some cute 13 year old girl...
Do the guy a HUGE favor and drop this immediately. PS: in cases like this you (as a minor) have ZERO say in his prosecution... none, you can stand up in court and swear that the sex was consequential and he still gets convicted, as you have no legal right to say otherwise.
...............................
|
