A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been single for 6 months and have recently got back into dating. I say dating - I have met up with one person so far as the 'pool' is so small where I live - even online.The guy I have met is nice. He is sweet, kind, laid back but I just don't know if I am into him. The bedroom activity is very disappointing too. The thing is, I don't know if I just need to give it a chance and see if things develop or if I should just cut ties. Part of me thinks, there isn't actually anything wrong with him and my head is saying "you have met someone who is actually a nice guy, that is good" but the rest of me is just thinking "meh, maybe".Because he is so sweet, I don't want to string him along, but I also don't know if I just need to take time to get to know the guy better and see where it goes. I guess I still don't really know him, we have only known each other a couple of weeks so I am torn between giving it a chance and am I wasting our time... How long do I give it a chance for before I know either way? x Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Pepi let pew  +, writes (11 April 2019):
 6 months is not long enough.. He will never be better in bed then your previous lover. He has not had any time to learn about your sexual likes. And if your thinking maybe... Well good luck with that one Honey.. I think you know your answer.
A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (9 April 2019):
 Move on.
You shouldn’t have to convince yourself that you like someone. If you don’t naturally feel a spark and want to be in their company then it’s not meant to be.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2019): You're judging the guy by the action in the bedroom. Sometimes that means you only wanted to scratch an itch; because you were feeling a little horny. Turns-out he's a lovely guy, and now you feel guilty.
I think it's too late to re-evaluate the guy when he struck-out in the bedroom. "Meh" is not a very good rating for love-making! You've withdrawn any emotion necessary to ignite a love-connection; because he didn't measure-up to one of your standards that is very important to you. Sex! Sexual-incompatibility can be a deal-breaker! Nothing wrong with wanting a passionate and capable lover.
Sometimes the magic doesn't flow until two people have built-up the adequate sexual-tension and chemistry. It's not something you go back and retry, as a second-thought. It misses the mark! You'll have lowered expectations.
Don't feel bad about that. I would have to agree with Honeypie; that you should have gotten to know him before you got to know his penis. Now you're judging him on that, and you can't get past it. He might have been nervous, felt pressure to perform, and could sense you were being critical during the act. Your bodily-response tells it all!
Don't waste his time or yours. He doesn't meet all your standards. One important one in particular! It's best to move on, and not lead him on.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (9 April 2019):
 Honestly?
I think you are trying to run before you can walk. In the sense that you are perhaps expecting a whole relationship after only a few weeks.
You CAN NOT know a person that well after a few weeks, sex or no sex.
BUT you can determine if there is interest on YOUR part to get to know him better, or not.
My personal advice? HOLD off on the sex next time. SPEND more time getting to know a guy is varied situation on a variation of dates to SEE if he OVERALL is a good match, THEN if he is add the sex and see how that fares.
By adding sex so soon women sometimes feel they should keep dating someone because they have SHARED sex, even if their head and heart isn't in it.
HE might BE a decent fella but he might not be a good match FOR YOU.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2019): You jumped into the sack far too quickly.
You started a sex life on the basis of a meeting.
This is very pressurized for you now.
You have made yourself a booty call and this is probably where you will stay.
So far all you know about this guy is his d*** so calling a halt to it all might be the best thing as you started from a difficult angle.
He will understand if you tell him it is "too much, too soon."
Learn to move potential relationships a bit slower in order to avoid this future trap.
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