A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm married and have been with my husband for nearly 7 years. I love him dearly and we have a great relationship. He really is my best friend and I can't imagine not having him in my life. However, I have found myself crushing on this guy at work. It's not even like work guy is flirty or shows any interest at all - I simply find him attractive and we have similar interests. I would absolutely never pursue anything with this other dude. Likewise, I will never tell my husband about this or admit to anyone that I think about my co-worker more than I should. I'm just freaked out that this is even happening. Is it 'normal' to revert back to 14 year old behavior and feel this way out of the blue?
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at work, best friend, co-worker, crush, flirt Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2010): Well, I am very attracted to my co-worker, and I've been married for 21 years. My hubby and I have been going through some very rough times. He hasn't made love to me in MONTHS, so I started finding myself crushing on my co-worker, even fantasising about being with him (both sexually and non-sexually). My husband and I are finally back on track, doing really well, but I'm still finding myself with this crush on my co-worker. I believe I'm keeping the crush going because I'm tired of getting hurt by my husband - it's kind of my own personal wall that I'm keeping up. No, I would never pursue it because I'm not that type of person. He is married, too, and I would NEVER cross that line. But I wish this crush would go away.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2010): Just ignore the co-worker and focus on your family , kids their up bringing and values and morals that you want your kids to have. Plan for old days with DH and try to create closeness in his family and your family and all taht. There are much better things that you can do rather than wasting time here with co worker.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks all for your honest feedback. Your thoughts have made me really look at my priorities and consider this from different angles and not just the selfish ones. My husband deserves better from me and I need to honor that.
Much gratitude...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2010): I know exactly where you are coming from because I am in the same situation.
I started out with a crush, lots in common, closeness, etc. I am now at the stage where I don't think I would be able to say no to him and I know he feels the same way.
I wish I had just let this crush die down on it's own beacuse I know I have moved on a level(not physical or anything planned yet) but I would not be able to stop myself if he asked. I now have very strong feelings for him although I have not admitted it to him, but my job, which I really enjoy is all based around him, nothing alse matters.
I know I am not a goood example to give advice, but if I could go back to the beginning, I would harbour my feelings.
Don't flirt with him, don't touch him, even accidentally, and don't give out any eye contact more than is normal.
I am not having an affair physically, but I am emotionally and it has taken over my every thought,and it hurts like hell already!!!
Good luck, and just let it die down.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (5 June 2010):
 You are only human and as long as you don't cross the line , you should be O.K.
Make sure you are aware of your limits and boundaries. Mark them out clearly so that you won't overstep them.
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (5 June 2010):
 Yes it's completely normal. Just because we are married doesn't mean we can't appreciate a good looking guy. My husband and I tell each other when we think someone is good looking but that's as far as it ever goes. Just enjoy looking at him you'll get over it soon.
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