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female
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anonymous
writes: I broke up with my ex 5 months ago. I am doing all the right things - keeping busy, seeing friends. But I still cry when I am alone, and I still miss him so very much. I really believe he was the love of my life and I don't know how I will ever get over this. People say I will with time - but how much time? I feel so broken inside, it hurts it hurts.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2006): I know how you feel. My boyfriend just up and left. He said that he was going to see about his son that had gotten into some trouble. He called a few times and told me that he was on his way home but never showed up. That was 4 days ago. I call his cell phone and it's off. I finally came to the conclusion that he just left. He told me that lie about his son because he was afraid of how I would react. I am really hurt behind it. I know I shouldn't be because he wasn't really good for me. He said I didn't have anything to offer him because I don't have a lot of material things. When I met him he was living with his mom at 45 years of age, barely working, no vehicle and no money. Everytime I hurt I think about his shortcomings and realize I am better off. He's just making room for someone really worthy of me. It still hurts, but thinking that way makes it better.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2006): It's not the kind of thing you never get over - it's the kind of thing that you find a place to put.
My advice would be to write about it -- you don't want to impose on your friends the same downer thoughts over and over, but either a therapist or a journal could do the trick. My experience has been that you just have to let yourself live out all the sad thoughts. Write them down, even if it's the same stuff, over and over. Eventually, you get tired of writing it and tired of even hearing yourself think it. And a few weeks or months after that, you notice that you're not thinking it quite as often.
And, when all else fails, allow yourself the pleasure of zoning out completely. Movies are great for this, especially scary ones (where you're unlikely to find anything to make you think of your ex, unlike a drama or romantic comedy).
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female
reader, Raona +, writes (15 September 2006):
 It is so true the saying 'TIME IS A GREAT HEALER'. Honestly hun, I can't give you an answer as to how long it will take you to get over this. Talk to friends, family, co-workers. This will help you get it out your system.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2006): hi there, if its any consolation to you, my ex and i splitted up a year and a half ago and im still in a way, wishing/hoping shell come back to me. I know thats very highly unlikely, and shes moved on, in fact shes already seeing someone else i think, but you know, its just one of those things where you have to hold your head up high and move on with life as life does go on no matter what. It doesnt help either that we're housemates and in time, she'll eventually bring the guy shes seeing now back home. It also hurts whenever she talks to me casually about her plans for the future which obviously does not include me in it. I know thats inevitable and need to forget about it, sometimes it hurts, but I try to remind myself that shes moved on, and its not fair that Im the only one missing the relationship. What I guess im trying to say is, time will heal, i know mine isnt exactly the best example, but im very sure i will get over her completely. Best of luck
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female
reader, claire_x100 +, writes (15 September 2006):
 Im sorry to hear how you feel but there is no time one day it will jus go. All i can say is keep doing what your doing, if you still find it hard write a letter to him writing down ya feelings then either keep it of burn it let out your hurt, or confide in a firend if you can. Talking to people can really help you see and there will be another love of your life out there. I know its hard and you just feel that theres no point but there is. Good Luck.
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male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (15 September 2006):
 I don't think you can attach a set time scale to these kind of things - sometimes its 5 weeks, sometimes 5 months sometimes a year. I think you need to allow yourself space to heal and say to yourself 'it doesnt matter how much time it takes but I will get through this.'
Other than that you are indeed doing the right things. All I could maybe suggest is that when you are feeling low like this you try and find somebody to talk too to ease the lonliness and maybe talking about how you will feel will ease things a little. If you cant find anybody to talk to then maybe start a journal. Hope that helps. Take care.
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