A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay so me and my boyfriend have been together for almost two years and here are some of our problems-He does work thirty hours a week with plenty of time to do is college work but he is currently failing. I am doing well in class but know that he will not get his degree and I am worried about the future and having to take care of everything. I tell him how important it is to me that he does well so he can make a better life for himself but he said he just doesn't care and that he is too lazy to do anything about it.-He has gotten better about lying to me but he has lied to me a lot in the past. It started off with stupid stuff like him talking to a girl(not in a flirtatious way, just a friends) to stuff like dropping classes and never telling me. He doesn't tell me because he is afraid I will get mad but I only get mad when he lies to me. Trust is important.-There are other problems like we can't talk about deep stuff because he can't really have a serious conversation and how lazy he is and how I'm afraid if another girl did come onto him he would go for it only to make himself feel better because of how insecure he is.I know he loves me and I love him. We have so much fun together and I never get tired of him. He does a lot for me, massages me all the time, takes me on dates - we have a lot of fun. I have never been this comfortable around anyone in my life...I'm just afraid he will meet someone else and not tell me or that our future is effed because of how lazy he is.What should I do?
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (27 November 2010):
 Is he a full time student and works 30 hours? Not very many people can handle a job and keep up their grades in school. I would talk to him, maybe he needs to cut back hours at work temporarily so he can focus on college more. Which is more important.
As far as talking to other women, he can talk to the opposite sex and be friends with them. It's normal, I think you need to give him a little more trust in that area than you do. Lying about other things is stupid, stress to him no matter how bad it is you won't get mad at him. You would rather the truth than a lie, because you'll only catch him in it later on.
After, you have talked to him about this..next work on your insecurity of him meeting someone else or if your future is screwed. Personally, I think you're looking too far ahead into it. You don't have a ring on your finger so there's no telling if you guys actually have a future together. Only time will tell. For now focus on giving him trust, and a little encouragement..if he continues to be lazy in school, then that's his choice. Would you want to be the sole bread winner of the house because he flunked out of college? I don't think so.
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