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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi. I have a huge problem with jealousy. Whenever my friend has done better than me at anything, I go green with envy. Whenever I see anyone on the streets that's prettier than me I have to clench my fists to stop myself feeling really jealous. When someone gets more attention than me the same thing happens. I know I shouldn't feel this way, but I can't seem to help it. Please help.
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female
reader, Ash.green +, writes (12 March 2006):
 Thanks for that one. Jelousy isn't a problem, it's simply an emotion. Most people feel jealous when they think they are disadvantaged. Your first step has already been taken - admitting the "problem."
If you hadn't done it, one of your friends might have asked you about it, and you probably would have gotten very defensive.
The next step isn't to stop it, or even fix it. You should try to change it. Tell your best mate about how much you get jealous. Tell her what you get jealous of (i.e, sports, looks, boyfriends.) your best friend might not be the one who's making you get the jealous vibe, but she can still help.
I've been through the jealous thing. Luckily, I had 3 great best friends to help me get through it. One of them, my closest friend, would always make me feel better about myself. Encouraging me during sports, even forcing me to ask my now-boyfriend out. Every little bit helps. The thing is... She's a lot better than me at a lot of things - talking, for example. My 2nd friend always me forget about what I was jealous about. The last friend was back up. If my 2 front girls failed, this one had all the junk food and DVD's.
Tell your best mates how you feel when she does the things you get jealous of. Remind her it's not only her. Instead of giving her evils, encourage her when she gets a goal in soccer, or when she passes an exam with flying colours. This will make you feel better about yourself.
If all else fails, remember the time-old annoying thing mothers say:
"Everyone's Good At Something Different."
Find YOUR strengths.
.:Ash:.
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