A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend on and off for almost 3 years and once we broke up because I thought I should just give up on account of there is no trust and well also I liked my friend. So we broke up but nothing ever happened with the guy but I never did know how he felt about me but i liked him so much. Nevertheless me and my boyfriend got back together I hate to say it but it was mostly because I felt so bad for him, He loves me so much and I love him too but I cant help but think about my friend. Basically I feel like im in love with two people :( I know im really selfish I just want to know what I should do.. I see them both all the time and I feel connected to both of them T.T Some feedback would be much appreciated! Thanx
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female
reader, Pharmgirl  +, writes (23 August 2008):
hmm...
you said you only got back with your boyfriend because you felt bad for him...I don't think that suggests any love in the relationship.
It's not fair for your boyfriend that you are only with him because you are pitying him, or treating him as second-best. Obviously you like your friend better, but because you're uncertain about how he feels aboug you, you're settling for your boyfriend at the moment. In the long run, you'll only hurt him more.
Does your friend know how you feel about him? If not, have you considered letting him know? That will be the only way for you to find the answer that you need. As for your boyfriend, I don't think it's right to lead him on. If you don't actually love him anymore, then tell him. It will definitely hurt him, but not as much as when he finds that you're only with him because of pity and because you don't know how the other guy feels. Maybe you could drop subtle hints to the guy you like? Or ask his friends about whether they know how he feels about you
So you'll need to make up your mind and act on it, before everyone gets hurt. It'll be a relief to you too. =)
Good luck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2008): Hi, well i have to say i have been in a very similar position, if your relationship with your boyfriend is right then you wuldnt be having feelings for this other person. I think as much as you will hurt your boyfriend yu need to end it because in the end, he will only get more hurt. Once you have done that then nip it in the bud and ask this guy if he likes you, lifes too short t be hanging around waiting for someone to tell you how they feel, who knows he might be waiting for you to tell him ;-)
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