A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'd seen many people posted about this topic before. It's slightly the same as mine, but I feels that my situation might be different from them. Okay, let's get to the point. I'm 18. I'm a guy. I'm a new christian(protestant, which I know that marrying between cousins are allowed). I fell in love with one of my cousin. She's my mother's sister's daughter. She's 17, which is one year younger than me. She's a Buddhist(that also allows marrying between cousins). We're staying in the same country(a country that marrying between cousins are legal too). I fell in love with her when I was still very young, about 10 to 12 years old. The feeling towards her faded of a little(just a little) after few years, but now, It came back again. I know that falling in love in 10 or 12 is just a "not a serious" thing, because we're just too young. Now I'm already 18 and I know that my feelings really go towards her. When we were young, our parents like to joke about marrying both of us.My cousin and I sms each other quite often. Usually I'm the one that started the conversation. Sometimes we sms each other till quite late about 2 to 3 a.m. in the midnight. We meet each other about twice everymonth, but we seldom talk to each other. There's many bondages between us. The biggest one is that our cousins will say something that will embarrass both of us when I and her is doing something together like talking to each other or what ever. So, whenever we meet each other, we're just too shy to talk to each other.My interest towards her is not because of "sex", althought she looks very pretty and cute. I never thought of having sex or anything related to sex towards her. I respect her body.There's once, about few months ago, I sent an sms to her and said that I love her. She replied and said that she don't know how to reply my sms. Then I just called her to ignore my sms. After that day, we still sms each other just like before. She did told me, a few weeks ago using sms, that she was in love with 3 guys before and one of them is me. Then she added a sentence behind, saying that she was still very young at the time she was in love with me. I have no idea who is in her heart right now.My problem is, I don't know what to do now. Sometimes I just feels like giving up, but I just can't go against my feelings. My mind now is thinking, am I doing the right thing? Is she the one I wanted? Is it worth it falling in love with her? Does she feels the same way as I am? Does she loves me or she just reply my smses because we are cousin? Do we have a high possibility that we'll get an "abnormal" child? Will my family go against us? By the way, my family against couple at young age. They said that I'm only allowed to involve in a "boy-girl relationship" once I finished my studies, which is about 5 more years to go.I'm just confuse right now and don't know what to do. I need some advices from all of you. Sorry to type such a long story. I'm just trying to make the situation clear for all of you. Thanks.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2008): Being in Love with a cousin is hard...Socially, physically and emotionally some people see it as incest, some see it as disgusting. It is probably the hardest of all relationships to come to terms with, simply because of the genetics involved and the closeness of family and the ties that bind them. What people fail to understand is that when emotions kick in logic doesn't come into it, the cousin relationship is the safest of all male -female relationships there is enough of a genetic mix to be attractive with the added security of the cousin never leaving ones social circle...the resultis that some pretty strong bonds are formed. I know this from personal experience so "Go on and sentence me I'll still be free". In my case I never laid a hand on her, it would have been frowned upon...She still lights up the room for me when we meet a feeling which is mutually expressed even though we are both in our mid forties.You don't have to be sexual to have a relationship, indeed your faith requires you to be so until marriage, there are other girls you will meet in the meantime. So be patient and kind do nothing rash or that would alarm her put her first and read Pauls 1st letter to the Corinthians Chapter 13.Remember whatever happens and however the relationship develops because you are close this girl will remain a faithful friend all your life, and that is worth more than Gold
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